It really pisses me off when I answer my phone during business hours because it COULD be something that matters to me and it's just more irrelevant crap that I don't want to hear about. Stop fucking phoning me for irrelevant crap that I don't want to hear about, so I can pick up my phone in peace knowing that it's actually worth my time for once.

Jaeda: Can I call you about irrelevant crap? Or.....wait for it...... elephant crap? SEE WHAT I DID THERE. Im so clever *he he*

Me: Oh yeah. I saw what you did there. You get a toilet-flush sound for that, Missy! Though you're probably too young to remember that show.

Jaeda: I love being too young for things!

Me: I love being old. When I see the trouble it is being young, I'm damn glad I'm over that part of life. You couldn't pay me to be young again! (No, seriously.)