Friday, January 2, 2015

K, Wordpress turned out to be unbelievably bad, so I'm back here again.
In other news, I've managed to work FORWARD in time back to just three pages before the point where I was on November 28. There is hope yet.
Seriously, stop fawning over teens who coming suicide, whatever their excuse is. Teenage drama isn't a risk factor in suicide; a culture that validates suicide is. The best way to prevent teen suicide is this: keep them from drugs and alcohol, keep them from easy access to lethal methods, emphasize impulse control, and deprecate suicide. And for fk's sake stop blaming suicide on others. It's either a mental illness or a personal choice, not something someone made you do.
There ought to be just one name for all the people who believe that there is one and only one God, that he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and that he calls us to leave what we have and what we want and serve others.
Sudden realization that all the handsomest guys at work are Indian. (And by this I mean Pardeep and Jaswinder. Don't get any ideas.)

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Languages to learn next: Tagalog, Arabic, Finnish. Not necessarily in that order.

Mueed: Tagalog is good. I loved learning it.

Shelley: I want to learn Chinese, since so many people speak it

Me: Chinese would be good. There is a lot of archaeology and history in China. I'm thinking Tagalog just because we have so many Filipinos at work. And I hope to be their boss.

Shelley: Yes I figured something like that. My work is actually really multicultural, at least when it comes to the younger set of people

Me: The Home Depot is consistently on the list of Canada's 100 Best Diversity Employers or whatever they call it. They give us cakes that say "Diversity" on them and stuff. But in practice the diversity is primarily India and Philippines.

Suvi-Maarit: There might not that much use of Finnish in Canada?

Me: Not unless I want to date hockey players. But now that I've seen it, the challenge of it is tempting.

Suvi-Maarit: I´ll bet Finnish ice hockey players are quite popular (as well all other nationalities who play in that NHL level).

Me: I don't watch hockey myself but I know they have a few. Teemu Selanne and Saku Koivu... and that's about all I can think of.

Suvi-Maarit: Teemu has already returned to Finland and Saku has finnished his career to my understanding (or is just about to do it). But I am pretty sure that there are younger and rising stars playing in Canada.

Me: Yeah, by the time I would hear about them they'd have to be legends.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Me: Winnipeg Transit.

Winnipeg Transit: Yes, Dave.

Me: How do I get to the fireworks?

Winnipeg Transit: Seriously? Just walk. It will be faster.

Scumbag trip planner.
I'd take another year with a dying dog over a year with no dog any day. As brutal as her illness was, it was still better than not having her at all.
Sudden realization that there are fireworks scheduled for today. Thank God Winnipeg has that Mennonite farmer ethic and schedules New Year's fireworks at 8 pm.
I made a World Cup 2015 calendar to keep track of all the matches in different timezones. The only downside is that I don't have any friends obsessive enough to share it with. Non-obsessive people make me sad.

Atif: Cricket Worldcup 2015 na?

Me: Of course Cricket World Cup. Unless Misbah is in some other World Cup in 2015.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

My run of good luck continues this morning with the power bill. Yes, they billed me $142 for one month by estimating that I probably spent six times as much power this month, which was warm, as last month. But this is Manitoba Hydro, not Bell Mobility, so they fixed it by agreeing not to take THEIR preauthorized debit until they get the actual meter reading from my landlord next month.

Monday, December 29, 2014

H time: wake up. All is well.

H+1: all is well.

H+2: all is well.

H+3: looking at my bank account for no particular reason, I notice that the phone company took their preauthorized payment three days early for the second time in three months, thus causing it to bounce and costing me $45 for the second time in three months.

H+3.1: phone the phone company. Their plan to make things better is: nothing. Assholes. So I cancelled the preauthorized payment plan. Still out $45 though. I guess I'll just withhold it from their bill.

H+4.3: time to leave for work. I walk out, put my key in the door to lock it, realize I didn't take my medication. Dang.

H+4.32: ok, leaving a second time.

H+4.36: walking towards the bus stop, realize my wallet is not in my pocket. Probably on my desk at home. Damn.

H+4.4: yep, it's on my desk. K, now I'm going to miss the regular bus, I guess I'll have to go to the other bus stop in the opposite direction and catch the other bus that has a two-minute connection to the 86.

H+4.55: I arrive at the bus stop and check the time. Turns out I could have made the normal bus stop with two minutes to spare and caught the regular bus. Now I have to wait 15 minutes and it's -21 C. Fuck. I decide to walk to the next stop to kill time.

H+4.7: arrive at the next bus stop, text transit, bus is still on schedule. I wait.

H+4.8: Bus should be here now, but it's not.

Two minutes later: still not.

Two more minutes later: still not. Ok, now I'm missing the 86 to work. Decision time.

1) Take the next bus, arrive 45 minutes late. Cost: $7.
2) Take a cab, arrive essentially on time. Cost: $20.
3) Go home and stay there. Cost: $78.

The choice was painfully obviously. On the other hand, I was cold and pissed off, and I had been wishing I could miss work this week anyway. So I went home. $123 gone from my budget in less than two hours.

And yet, I can't help thinking that being out $78 is less stressful to me than my not showing is to Tweedledumb. I can always eat less; he can't very well think more.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Ok, peeps, we're going to try something more aligned with my laziness. Try the NEW One day I said at It's going to pick up my Facebook feed automatically instead of me having to update manually, so you'll know everything in real time. Or something.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Ah crap. I missed a month again. Time just goes by way too fast.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
His name was Robert Paulson.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Imran Khan announces new theme song for his pep rally: "Send in the Clowns."
You may be spending too much time in opera rehearsals when your new favourite swear is "deh conservate oh dei."
K. If I'm not mistaken, it's now my day off, I'm awake, I don't have to go anywhere... and there is NO cricket on TV. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH why me, Lord?
Quite fun to watch the tide turn against Imran on his own Facebook page. You overplayed your hand, old man.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

After today's outdoor rehearsal in the sun, everyone is sunburned except me. Because I was wearing long sleeves, long pants, and a hat. And I was thinking to myself "you know, if y'all had worn hijab or thobe, you wouldn't have this problem."
At every rehearsal, my voice teacher (who plays Servilia) comes to me with a look of concern and asks me how I'm feeling and if I have everything and know what I have to do blah blah etc whatever. But when I told her some of the problems I was having with the music... she just brushed it off. WTF????? Look here, little girl. I have no feelings. I'm not nervous. I don't get stage fright. And I'm more organized than all you artists put together. But I do have trouble with the music because YOU made me sing alto. You put me in this position and you're not even gonna help me, so never mind. I'll do it myself. I've been carrying the alto section from day one and I'll be just fine. Go patronize you OTHER student, the one you put in the sopranos who hasn't sung a note yet
In case anyone else is looking for non-Zionist toilet paper, the only brand at Safeway is Royale. It's Canadian-owned. (I considered buying the Zionist kind for the metaphor, but they wouldn't care.)
Yo Imran, I have a message for you too. I'm a citizen of TWO stable democracies and I want to tell you that YOU are the problem. Democracy depends on one thing: the loser's willingness to admit defeat and be a good opposition until the next election. You've marched a bunch of disgruntled rowdies into the capital with the intention of overthrowing an elected government and having yourself installed instead. Best case scenario, they disperse peacefully and you've only cost the country a fortune in security at a time when they really needed to focus on the pre-existing security problems. If this turns nasty I hope you face criminal charges for inciting. You crazy egomaniac.
The good news is, opera rehearsal let out early again. The bad news is, the acoustics in the performance space are confusing my ear. Sigh.
Screw it, I'm drinking coffee at opera rehearsal.
Checking cricket scores at work earlier this week.

Me, to Sikh coworker: Sri Lanka 281 for 8.

Sikh coworker: What?

Me: Sri Lanka 281 for 8.

Sikh coworker: Who are they playing?

Me: Pakistan.

Sikh coworker: Ah.

Me: You don't follow cricket?

Sikh coworker: I followed cricket but only until Sachin retired.

Me: Sachin who?

And now the dog has diarrhea. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
Well the dog woke me four times in nine hours. I suppose that's as close to "uninterrupted" as I get. Then I snoozed all five alarms on my phone for 45 minutes. Also I'm out of toilet paper and I have a headache. Fak u, life.
Ah... Home sweet home. I got home from rehearsal and considered skipping work because I was so tired, but that's just not what I do. So I hie me to the bus. I fell asleep on the first bus but woke up in time for my stop. I fell asleep at the bus stop but the sound of the approaching bus woke me up. I fell asleep on the second bus... and rode all the way around and back to where I started. Then there were no more buses toward work so I got on a downtown bus and came home. After falling asleep on the bus, of course. Well, fuck. I'll try to go in to work tomorrow instead. For now, I get nine hours of sleep. And it better be UNINTERRUPTED sleep. Dog, I'm looking at you. Do whatever you want tonight but do NOT wake me up. Kthxbai.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Opera rehearsals, day 12 of 19. Tried to make toast, forgot to put bread in toaster. Help me, Lord.
A lot of people become despots when given power. Only Imran becomes a despot without even getting into power first.
The only thing better than 4.5 hours of sleep is 4.5 hours lying in bed of which 2 with insomnia. FML.
So I check my email before going to have a shower and off to bed... and there is an email from the conductor saying "be off book by Saturday". AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!! You ugly mofo, I only have five hours of sleep between now and Saturday rehearsal as it is, why couldn't you tell us this on Tuesday? Oh yeah, cause you're an artiste and you don't plan ahead. I crie

Thursday, August 14, 2014

I'm awake. AGAIN. This would be a good day for people to stay the fuck out of my way.
I'm such a good cook, I just screwed up making a cup of microwave mac and cheese. Ouch... my ego. And I just realized, too, it's a Zionist microwave mac and cheese cup. Some days you just can't win.
Me: Google.

Google: Yes, Dave.

Me: When did hominins speciate from apes?

Google: Where does pubic lice come from?

Hmmmmmmmm... Listen, Google. Around here *I* ask the questions.
“Failing organizations are usually over-managed and under-led.” - Warren Bennis (who clearly must have worked at Home Depot before)