I get home from the library and HM is full of energy so I'm like "Your Majesty is feeling better! wonderful!" Then I noticed the blood in her food dish.

After 13 months in Winnipeg, I still find it thoroughly magical that if I stand by the curb for a short while, a giant machine will come take me away to anywhere I want.

Do you ever do this thing where you have to remember several pieces of information at once so you get your brain to repeat the hardest two or three and trust that the rest will be available in memory regardless? Or is it just me? Is there a name for it?

Monday: HM ate nothing, drank a bit of milk. Aaaaugh she's gonna die!!

Tuesday: HM ate a cheeseburger, a can of soup, and some of her own food. Probably 300 calories total which is her daily requirement. Phew! She's not gonna die.

Wednesday: HM did not eat a single thing. Aaaaaaaaauuuugh she's gonna die!!!!

Thursday morning: HM ate over a cup of her food, about half her daily calories. Phew! She's not gonna die.

Thursday evening: HM has not eaten again since this morning. Aaaaaaaaaauuuuugh she's gonna die!!!!!

This death watch is shaping up to be some serious stress.

What I do at work. Bay 25-044 at 1:22 AM... and at 6:58 AM.

She reminds me of Suppen-Kaspar. "Ich esse keine Suppe nein, ich esse meine Suppe nicht, nein, meine Suppe ess ich nicht."

I wish my dog knew how to text so I could text and ask how she's feeling. But then maybe she's sleeping peacefully and I'd wake her up for nothing. Or else they need to make baby monitors that text updates to your phone. Or that you can phone from your phone and listen to them from work. AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuggh I want to go home!!!!!!

Earlier in the day, Her Majesty ate a McDonald's cheeseburger and a fair quantity of her homecooked food. Everything was copacetic. But when I woke up for work you could hear something was intermittently obstructing her airway, she was sneezing again (no blood), and she wouldn't eat any solid food. She finished up the cream of chicken and then kept staring at her homecooked food, obviously she wanted to eat but couldn't. Wasn't interested in cottage cheese or half-and-half. If I hadn't left my phone at work I think I'd have called in sick. Now is not a good time to leave her unsupervised.

Her Majesty's health today: HM enjoyed the Cream of Chicken soup. I also have a selection of dairy products to offer her: sour cream, cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, and half-and-half. Her breathing is fine. She doing that uncontrollable shaking again which I'm pretty sure isn't a good sign, but she's still wide awake and full of sass.

HM drank a bowl of 1% milk, and that's the only calories she's taken today as far as I know. Tomorrow I will buy her cream. And maybe Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup. I bet she'd eat that.

I always knew the dog would die, probably no later than 2015. I never realized she'd get old first. But then, she got old. And at first I was like "that's ok, she's my beloved, I will take care of her forever." But I never realized that she wouldn't just get old, she'd get sick, too. Now she's old AND sick and I'm like "that's ok, she's my beloved, I will take care of her forever." But now I'm starting to wonder, how long is this going to go on? And how much worse is it going to get? Is she suffering? How much is she going to suffer before she dies? And is it enough to love her? Why is there nothing I can do? And why does she look so alone?