I manage to avoid Eavestrough Woman at church, so she texts me after church. To invite me to Thanksgiving dinner, right? Or... to ask me to come help her with fall cleaning?

Diana: Why can't you just say no?

Me: I DID say no. I said I have other plans. Which I do, actually. I'm having dinner with friends from church who call me when... they don't need one damn thing from me. BOOYA!

Diana: So why does she think you are so happy to help her clean her yard??

Me: Initially I had agreed to mow her lawn for the summer in exchange for some help preparing for my audition. I'm not sure when "mowing the lawn" was extended to cleaning eavestroughs, filling her coffee cup, and actually being introduced to someone as her "valet". (That actually happened. For real.)

Megan: Anyone who calls you their "valet" is not your friend. And probably not someone worth spending time with in other contexts, either.

Me: I took it as a joke but I'm starting to think I was wrong. And she's the musical director at my church so not easy to avoid.