I was woken up at 23:17 by a loud noise the roommates made; but because I came out of a deep sleep, I don't know what the noise was. Then, I was woken up again at 23:54 by the male roommate wailing like Rachel for her children as he ran to the bathroom. I contemplated whether I should a) freak out and tell him to shut up, b) offer assistance, or c) ignore it. By the intensity of the wailing I hypothesised that either there was a death in his family, or the little bitch cut off his penis. Speaking of which, while her mate was crying his heart out in the bathroom, the worthless creature was talking unkindly to her poor dog in a nasty snake-like ice cold voice. Man, she's disgusting.

Strangely, however, the wailing stopped almost as abruptly as it started after only a few minutes. WTF??? You're crying to wake the dead in the middle of the night... and after four minutes you feel better? Shut up, you douche. I'm sorry I even considered offering assistance. You ugly slime.

Then he sniffled away, I think to sleep in his own bed (he's been increasingly not sleeping with the bitch), and I... spent the rest of the night trying to ignore my dog fussing. Because contrary to some dogs who know exactly what time it is, Her Majesty figures that once she wakes up, it's waking up time. So what if it's midnight? Time to get up and relocate to the living room... where she will sleep the rest of the day.

Sigh.