Cricket commenter: But there is another thing wrong with Sri Lanka, if you look at their players' bodies.... they're all wearing SWEATERS. It's winter here in the UAE and it's pretty chilly. They don't like the cold.

Me: Google, Dubai weather.

Google: 21 C, no precipitation.


Dafuq?????

Facebook comments:

Asad: Enjoying Pakistan batting?

Me: Yes, I am. I think Sri Lanka's problem isn't the weather, it's Mohammad Hafeez. There he goes about the weather again. "Because it's so cold here..."

Asad: Lol it looks easy win for Pakistan.

Me: 89 in 24 overs, yeah, that doesn't sound too hard. Good thing we have all those northerners on the team that play well in the cold. LOL

Asad: I think real cold weather in your side, U.A.E weather I think just like summer for u

Me: It's -14 C right now and that's a warm day.

Asad: Omg I will die in minus. We are Asian mostly belongs from hot weathers

Me: You know that the world's largest non-polar glacier is partly in Pakistan? I don't think we're gonna see Misbah bat today.

Asad: Yeah I know but here in northern areas where that glacier is very less population, mostly Pakistanis live in warm areas. Yeah today our captain have no chance to make another fifty.

Me: Maybe more people should move there. Less air conditioning, less electricity use, therefore less load-shedding. And also better cricket in "cold" weather in UAE.

Asad: Warm weather is suitable for us because that areas are mostly mountain areas and very high. I think you know well. World biggest mountain ranges are here.

Me: I know. You could put giant data centers there, nobody would ever find them.

Asad: I think our scientist doing this. When I will have some free time from job, I am gonna visit that all beautiful areas of Pakistan.

Me: Me too. Sweet. :)

Asad: Maybe next year. Then we should go together. And 100 by Hafeez.

Me: I know, that's what I just said. I like that he's not flashy about it. If Shahid did three times 100 we'd never hear the end of it.

Asad: He's playing so well.

Me: It's like Sri Lanka v. Mohammad Hafeez.

Asad: Lol yeah Hafeez dominating Sri Lanka. Shahid have popularity because of his fast innings and young blood like that.

Me: I think Shahid is popular because of his stage presence. Not that he isn't good at cricket but he's especially good at letting people know how good he is.

Asad: Yeah he know how to make crowd loud.

Me: And he has fabulous hair.

Asad: What you think when international cricket team will come to Pakistan and play with us in our home town.

Me: I don't know. Maybe Imran Khan can tell you that. One thing I don't really like about Shahid is when he comes in to bat and everybody cheers like crazy... it's just not very nice to the batter who just got out.

Asad: When peace will come in Afghanistan then everything will be good in Pakistan too. Imran says that.

Me: I don't think you should wait for that. And you can tell Imran I said that. Do you think we can finish this within batting powerplay?

Asad: When next time Imran come to my area I will talk about you with Imran briefly.

Me: Tell him I said to buy more CANDU reactors.

Asad: I don't want finish yet because it's good practice of Pakistan for next match.

Me: I think Sri Lanka is going to be really embarrassed because we're going to beat them in 100 balls.

Asad: CANDU reactors for electricity? Its federal government job because Imran have limited government powers. I think this is Sri Lanka's worst series against Pakistan.

Me: He doesn't have to do it himself. He can advocate for it. People listen to him. Well it's hard to do any worse than this.

Asad: Yeah if it's good to produce then its good idea, he can easily communicate with people and authorities. Btw. How CANDU work? Mean water, air or coal produce power?

Me: CANDU is a nuclear reactor, it uses uranium and heavy water. Very safe and low-maintenance. Pakistan already has some.

Asad: But Pakistan use uranium for make atomic bombs.

Me: CANDU fuel isn't enriched enough for that. And you're not gonna bomb anyone.

Asad: I think in Europe also different countries uses CANDU plants, it's best for produce power but need uranium which is very less available in world. We just make some bombs for defense purpose.

Me: What you need for defense purposes is anti-aircraft guns to shoot down drones. 225. :)

Asad: My TV cable off thanks for update me score.

Me: My feed blacked out and then went back a few minutes. Weird. PCB has 226 but they're still playing.

Asad: We have everything for shoot drones but our stupid government fear or have secret agreements with NATO OR USA that's why they don't shoot otherwise it's not so hard to shoot down. Our army have everything and well-armed logistic. Yeahhh we win.

Me: No still not. Maqsood won't run. There we go.

Asad: But I hear in news that Pakistan win? What's going. My sports channel stupid gone please tell me Hafeez and Sohaib score?

Me: First it was 225 but scoreboard said 226. PCB website picked up 226. Then scoreboard went back to 225 and they were still playing. Hafeez tried to run a couple times but Maqsood wouldn't move. Then my feed went to commercial so I didn't even see the final play. When it came back it was 226. 226 for 2. The last one was Sohaib batting.

Asad: Hafeez 113 and Sohaib 46. Here news channels says that.

Me: That's what PCB says. Shahid's hair must be really disappointed it didn't get any camera time. LOL

Asad: Shahid is in team because of his bowling too. He is just like hero of Pakistan but this time Hafeez got everything. Love his performance

Me: I know but he just spends so much time fixing his hair! It's driving me nuts. Every time he's on camera he's running his hands in his hair. (Quoting from TV:) Angelo Mathews: "They outplayed us in all departments, quite frankly."

Asad: Did you know what was happened between Dilshan and Ahmed Shahzad? Why ICC impose 50 % match charges on Ahmed?

Me: I don't know, I heard about the fine but never saw what happened. Quoting from TV: Interviewer: Are you gonna win 4-1? Misbah: Yeah, of course. The main thing is you want to win every game and we're gonna do that.

Asad: InshAllah we will not take it easy n win last ODI. HE said what I want lol.

Me: InshaAllah. I won't be able to watch that game, I'll be at work.

Asad: But you can work with calm because no matter we win or lose we are champion of series haha and we will hold the cup.

Me:


Hahaha even in this video you can see Afridi fixing his hair!

Asad: lol thanks for share, Afridi loves his hair so much.

Me: I know!!!! He's just way too fond of his hair. He actually takes off his hat to activate his fabulous-hair superpowers. LOL

Asad: LOL He also come in different shampoo ads.

Me: I know, he's even on the shampoo bottle. I'd hate to have Shahid Afridi's face in my shower! His theme song is "I'm too sexy".

Asad: Hahaha but he always see me when I shower lol.

Me: LOL I don't need to know that

Asad: I just noted now I want remove him because I'm not gay

Me: He's so sexy, you don't even have to be gay. LOL

Asad: Sexy for Girls.

Me: Pfff. I bet every guy in Pakistan has a man-crush on Shahid. I bet you he doesn't actually use Head & Shoulders or he wouldn't have such fabulous hair. When I use Head & Shoulders I have to wash my hair with dish soap afterwards to get rid of the sticky residue.

Asad: Lol we just jealous because of his female fans.

Me: But really you're jealous of his hair.

Asad: He has natural silky hair. No I'm really not jealous of his hair, my hair is also good lol.

Me: LOL I think his hair is probably like mine because he is from northern Pakistan, but he gets highlights. Also I don't have to fix my hair all the time.

Asad: You should also always move your hands in hair everywhere.

Me: I can't do that. It distracts my coworkers.

Asad: if you do, your coworkers will fall in love with you.

Me: I don't really like how he bowls, you know. Not elegant like Junaid. K I have to turn off my computer now and give it a rest. And you should be sleeping because it's very late. Maybe you can dream of Shahid Afridi's hair.

Asad: Need girl eye which I don't have. Lol I don't think any man looked elegant. If you ask me about any female sports persons than there a lot elegant in my eye.

Me: I don't think it's a girl thing, Junaid has very clean form whereas Shahid is all over the place. Though of course his hair does look fabulous with the wind blowing through it...