The roommates and I unanimously agree to have a house-warming party.

Female Roomate: I've got lots of friends I can introduce you to! You gotta put yourself out there!

Me: No thanks.

Roommate: Come on! You never know when the love of your life could walk into the room!

My dog walks into the room.

Me, pointing at the dog: Looks like it just did.

Roommate: The two-legged love of your life!

Me: Ah, you mean the penis of my life.

Roommate: You never know when a guy could walk in the room and you'll just know that's the love of your life.

Me: I'm pretty sure that wouldn't happen.

Roommate: You never know when a guy could take one look at you and know you're the love of his life!

Yeah. I call that one "Slimey".


Asad and Diana like this.

Facebook comment stream:

Tatelena: Do it! This is coming from me! Do it!

Diana: Ever cheeky! But hey what have you got to lose, your dog will still be there at the end of the day.

Asad: I want to be there

Me: You people crack me up. But unless Imran Khan is coming to this party, I'm pretty sure there won't be anyone there I'd want to have coffee with.

Tatelena: Well well well Ms.Negative please just put yourself out there this Time and you may be pleasantly surprised !! If not u still win by having some coffee. Win win.

Me: Clearly you haven't heard the sordid tale of Me and the Handsome One... and Slimey.

Tatelena: Fuck them I haven't heard the story of you going to a party ever!

Asad: I want hv time with u coffee+dance

Me: I was invited to ONE party in the nine years I lived in Hay River. And zero dudes bothered to call me and ask me out. So if all the guys who knew me for nine years couldn't be bothered to ask me out, I'm not gonna waste my time on the ones who fall in lust with me at first sight.

Tatelena: Sigh* not ALL men are the same gf

Asad: Its my bad luck i dont know u from nine years

Me: (To Asad:) Well we'll see what you think of that when you've known me for nine years. (To Tatelena:) I agree. Imran Khan is definitely unlike any dude I know.

N.Ed.: I wouldn't date Imran Khan. He's too entitled.