Once upon a time, I never watched cricket, and I used to laugh at the headlines on my Pakistan newsfeed. "Grave crisis". "Disaster". "Complete collapse". I thought they were humorously dramatic.

Then.

One day.

I decided to watch one match. I don't watch sports, ever, because it's deathly boring. But I thought I'd watch ONE match of cricket just to get the general idea of how it works, in case I might be called upon to make polite conversation.

Little did I know that cricket is totally addictive and lends itself to making Excel spreadsheets. Mmmmmm... Spreadsheets...

So now cricket is the most important thing in my life. After the Lord, my dog, singing, world history, The Economist, going to concerts and paying the bills, of course. And let me tell you: GRAVE CRISIS! DISASTER! COMPLETE COLLAPSE! AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGH!!!