Chatting with my pastor after the service. Me: If you live longer than me you're gonna have to preach Revelation 4 for my funeral. You know, "casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea."

Pastor: I see.

Me: I have all my readings and hymns picked out. It's gonna be a looooooong service.

Pastor: You should email it to me. It's really helpful when people do that, then we know what they want.

Me: Really, people do that? I thought it was just me being obsessive.

Pastor: Oh yeah, we have lots of people's instructions. Just email it to me and we'll put it in your file.

Me: Ok.


Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a minute... The church has a FILE on me??????????? Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!