Wednesday, March 13, 2013
I played a joke on my pastor at the Lenten service. When everybody goes around shaking hands and saying "peace be with you" I went up to him and said "السلام علیکم". Hahaha! We Lutherans are so fun-loving! It's a tenet of our religion, actually. Luther specifically said that we have to laugh a lot because laughing scares the devil away. (True story.)
Ok so before the pope interrupted what I was gonna say, I was gonna say, "another day, another hour of work trying to open my window." I've now removed enough material to see the extent of the damage. With the paint on it, it looked like the bottom of the window fell flush with the sill, but in fact it falls into a groove, meaning it will not be possible to leverage it from below. And also, I have to keep digging at it, because who knows how deep the groove is and so how much caulking is still holding the window down. Maybe it would be easier to just call a building inspector and be done with it... Am I right or am I right?
Haha! There's a seagull sitting on the chimney. I thought the Holy Spirit was supposed to show up as a dove, not a bird that eats garbage.
Mardrey and Nathalie like this.
Deirdre: The seagull has its own Twitter account already!
Me: I saw that. But it's not just one seagull, they take turns. I'm waiting to see something more fun like an ostrich or something.
Mardrey and Nathalie like this.
Deirdre: The seagull has its own Twitter account already!
Me: I saw that. But it's not just one seagull, they take turns. I'm waiting to see something more fun like an ostrich or something.
Pope cam! Watch the smoke happening LIVE! Booya! Exciting! And, there is still time to pick your favourite in my Pope Pool! (Ed.: Initially this post included a link to the Sistine Chapel chimney webcam.)
Deirdre: (12:43) I'm hoping they go with someone completely unexpected.
Me: (14:25) How about the Spanish Inquisition? Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Deirdre: Maybe too unexpected...
Me: (14:26) I'm still cheering for Oswald Gracias.
Deirdre: Too late - Jorge Bergoglio from Argentina.
Me: (simultaneously) Oh wait... they just announced him. I lose. But hey, an Argentine is good too. What kind of name is "Francis"? Is that after St. Francis of Assisi?
Deirdre: Possibly Francis Xavier, one of the first Jesuits.
Me: No, he'd have gone by Francis Xavier. Francis Xavier is always referred to as Francis Xavier. I know cause I went to a Jesuit school. I still celebrate St. Francis Xavier day every year on December 3.
Deirdre: Not sure then.
Me: Plus Francis Xavier would kinda freak out a lot of people. The Jesuits were pretty scary sometimes.
Deirdre: He is the first Jesuit Pope.
Me: All the more reason NOT to go with Francis Xavier. St. Francis of Assisi was a hugely important reformer of the church.
Deirdre: True. It will be interesting to hear the interpretations of his choice and if they will tell us his reasons.
Me: Well it's too bad it's over so soon. I was hoping for a three-year saga of wild plot twists.
Deirdre: I don't think the world has quite enough turmoil to lead to a 3 year saga. And not enough infighting between cardinals.
Me: But we'd get to see the baby seagulls grow up!
Deirdre: Interesting to see the roof removed....
Me: They wouldn't do that... Not now that there are spy satellites that could look down and leak what's being said.
Deirdre: True, they would have to find some other incentive to speed up the process.
Me: Turn some bedbugs loose in St. Martha's.
Now that I think about it, I was right about the Spanish Inquisition. Baaaaaahaha! I crack me up.
Me: (17:05) "Initially, there was media speculation of whether he meant to honor either the 12th-century St. Francis of Assisi, known for his simple lifestyle and dedication to the works of mercy, or St. Francis Xavier, a 16th-century Spanish Jesuit priest known for his efforts to evangelize, particularly in Asia; or both. Jesuit Fr. Federico Lombardi, the Vatican spokesman, said the new pope chose the name in honor of St. Francis of Assisi." I was right. :) I like being right. :)
Deirdre: (19:20) You were right.
Me: (20:42) Yeah. We were all talking about the new pope at our Lenten service today and my Lutheran peeps agree that St. Francis Xavier would have been a little scary. We're kinda thinking St. Francis of Assisi might bode well for ecumenical dialog, what with preaching to the animals and all... and everyone is very impressed that the new pope cooks his own meals and rides the bus to work. However, one member of the congregation wonders whether Benedict really stepped down or was... pushed. So anyway, we Lutherans like your new pope so far. Thanks be to God.
By the way did you know that there are Lutheran Franciscans?
Deirdre: (12:43) I'm hoping they go with someone completely unexpected.
Me: (14:25) How about the Spanish Inquisition? Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Deirdre: Maybe too unexpected...
Me: (14:26) I'm still cheering for Oswald Gracias.
Deirdre: Too late - Jorge Bergoglio from Argentina.
Me: (simultaneously) Oh wait... they just announced him. I lose. But hey, an Argentine is good too. What kind of name is "Francis"? Is that after St. Francis of Assisi?
Deirdre: Possibly Francis Xavier, one of the first Jesuits.
Me: No, he'd have gone by Francis Xavier. Francis Xavier is always referred to as Francis Xavier. I know cause I went to a Jesuit school. I still celebrate St. Francis Xavier day every year on December 3.
Deirdre: Not sure then.
Me: Plus Francis Xavier would kinda freak out a lot of people. The Jesuits were pretty scary sometimes.
Deirdre: He is the first Jesuit Pope.
Me: All the more reason NOT to go with Francis Xavier. St. Francis of Assisi was a hugely important reformer of the church.
Deirdre: True. It will be interesting to hear the interpretations of his choice and if they will tell us his reasons.
Me: Well it's too bad it's over so soon. I was hoping for a three-year saga of wild plot twists.
Deirdre: I don't think the world has quite enough turmoil to lead to a 3 year saga. And not enough infighting between cardinals.
Me: But we'd get to see the baby seagulls grow up!
Deirdre: Interesting to see the roof removed....
Me: They wouldn't do that... Not now that there are spy satellites that could look down and leak what's being said.
Deirdre: True, they would have to find some other incentive to speed up the process.
Me: Turn some bedbugs loose in St. Martha's.
Now that I think about it, I was right about the Spanish Inquisition. Baaaaaahaha! I crack me up.
Me: (17:05) "Initially, there was media speculation of whether he meant to honor either the 12th-century St. Francis of Assisi, known for his simple lifestyle and dedication to the works of mercy, or St. Francis Xavier, a 16th-century Spanish Jesuit priest known for his efforts to evangelize, particularly in Asia; or both. Jesuit Fr. Federico Lombardi, the Vatican spokesman, said the new pope chose the name in honor of St. Francis of Assisi." I was right. :) I like being right. :)
Deirdre: (19:20) You were right.
Me: (20:42) Yeah. We were all talking about the new pope at our Lenten service today and my Lutheran peeps agree that St. Francis Xavier would have been a little scary. We're kinda thinking St. Francis of Assisi might bode well for ecumenical dialog, what with preaching to the animals and all... and everyone is very impressed that the new pope cooks his own meals and rides the bus to work. However, one member of the congregation wonders whether Benedict really stepped down or was... pushed. So anyway, we Lutherans like your new pope so far. Thanks be to God.
By the way did you know that there are Lutheran Franciscans?
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Later that day, I discover that Windows Update is also the program that keeps the antivirus up to date, and I can't disable one without the other. Well played, Microsoft. Well played.
Susan: Can't you set it to manually updates only? That is what I used to do when I had windows. Then I would pick and choose what to update...I hate windows...
Me: Technically it gives me that option. Realistically I don't trust it to update only what I said, seeing as this whole seven-hour fight started because it was already not updating only what I said.
Susan: Yes...I agree it doesn't always work as advertised...
Me: Understatement of the year... LOL
Susan: Can't you set it to manually updates only? That is what I used to do when I had windows. Then I would pick and choose what to update...I hate windows...
Me: Technically it gives me that option. Realistically I don't trust it to update only what I said, seeing as this whole seven-hour fight started because it was already not updating only what I said.
Susan: Yes...I agree it doesn't always work as advertised...
Me: Understatement of the year... LOL
True story: roommate goes to the bathroom. Toilet doesn't flush properly. A while later I go to the bathroom. There is toilet paper in the toilet but water level has gone down so I don't know it's plugged. I use toilet, flush it, water rises threateningly. Fuuuuuuuuuuuh... So I wait for it to drain slowly. While I'm in the bathroom waiting, roommate knocks on the door. "Someone in here," I says. "Ok," he says. I keep waiting. When water level is low enough, I plunge the toilet. It works. I flush again. It works. I wash my hands and exit the bathroom.
Immediately, roommate rushes in to use the bathroom. So... Would I be correct in assuming that he knew the toilet was plugged, and didn't know what to do about it, and was just dying to go but waited for me to "test the water" so to speak? And then seeing that I was able to flush successfully, went and used the toilet himself? Yes. This sounds like a plausible reconstruction of events.
I'm thinking they should have a class in junior high about things like "sweeping", "plunging toilets", "licensing your dog and picking up after it"... You know, the stuff most BUT NOT ALL parents teach their own kids...
Atta: Elise I think you should be a book writer especially on critics because you can prolong your conversation even on petty matters.
Me: LOL Thanks if I wrote a book I hope it would be about something interesting and not my roommates trying to flush the toilet... I'm actually trying to learn the entire history of the world and write it out in chronological order. If I succeed maybe I can publish it... but for Facebook purposes, it turns out people care way more about my roommates than about world history.
Immediately, roommate rushes in to use the bathroom. So... Would I be correct in assuming that he knew the toilet was plugged, and didn't know what to do about it, and was just dying to go but waited for me to "test the water" so to speak? And then seeing that I was able to flush successfully, went and used the toilet himself? Yes. This sounds like a plausible reconstruction of events.
I'm thinking they should have a class in junior high about things like "sweeping", "plunging toilets", "licensing your dog and picking up after it"... You know, the stuff most BUT NOT ALL parents teach their own kids...
Atta: Elise I think you should be a book writer especially on critics because you can prolong your conversation even on petty matters.
Me: LOL Thanks if I wrote a book I hope it would be about something interesting and not my roommates trying to flush the toilet... I'm actually trying to learn the entire history of the world and write it out in chronological order. If I succeed maybe I can publish it... but for Facebook purposes, it turns out people care way more about my roommates than about world history.
What I did today:
0800: got up, walked dog, ate breakfast
0830: tried to fix Windows problem
1100: showered (cause I'm polite and I wait for the roommates to be up before I go make noise in the bathroom)
1115: tried to fix Windows problem
1215: ate lunch, walked dog
1245: singing practice
1315: tried to fix Windows problem
1500: fixed Windows problem!
1501: watched Toddlers and Tiaras to decompress
1545: walked dog
1615: so tired... can't stay awake...
1620: better read some jokes online to keep myself awake
1800: walked dog, took garbage out, ate supper
1845: all my FB friends are home from work! Let's read some status updates!
Tell me again how computers were gonna revolutionise productivity?
0800: got up, walked dog, ate breakfast
0830: tried to fix Windows problem
1100: showered (cause I'm polite and I wait for the roommates to be up before I go make noise in the bathroom)
1115: tried to fix Windows problem
1215: ate lunch, walked dog
1245: singing practice
1315: tried to fix Windows problem
1500: fixed Windows problem!
1501: watched Toddlers and Tiaras to decompress
1545: walked dog
1615: so tired... can't stay awake...
1620: better read some jokes online to keep myself awake
1800: walked dog, took garbage out, ate supper
1845: all my FB friends are home from work! Let's read some status updates!
Tell me again how computers were gonna revolutionise productivity?
Fking thing reinstalled itself AGAIN as soon as the third System Restore was complete. I'm surprised no one has blown up Microsoft's headquarters yet.
Rob: I have used Firefox for years for browsing, never had any issues
Me: Yeah, I think I'm gonna switch. But the upside of IE (sort of) is that its failure alerts you to the fact that Windows has nefariously updated itself again.
Rob: I have used Firefox for years for browsing, never had any issues
Me: Yeah, I think I'm gonna switch. But the upside of IE (sort of) is that its failure alerts you to the fact that Windows has nefariously updated itself again.
Run system restore to remove the Windows update that interferes with my browser history: success. Immediately following success, Windows update reinstalls itself. What the fucka fucky fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And by the way this is after I've specifically told it never ever EVER to install Windows updates without my expressed permission.
And by the way this is after I've specifically told it never ever EVER to install Windows updates without my expressed permission.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Things I know how to say in Urdu: 1) السلام علیکم; 2) خدا حافظ; 3) پاکستان زندہ باد. I think I'm pretty much good to go. (And if you try to type English and Urdu in the same sentence Facebook can't figure out which way to write.)
Asad: You're all set, a hello, goodbye and long live Pakistan is all you need
Me: Maybe I should learn "would you like fries with that" so I can get a job at McDonald's.
Deirdre: 'where is the bathroom?' is always a good one
Asad: LOL
Me: And a few cricket terms so I can make conversation.
Asad: yeah that'll help. Cricket is like the only thing anyone has in common. Cricket and politics and the failing economy and infrastructure, normal topics for conversations with almost anyone. And the weather too.
Me: Just like Canada! Except cricket. Cricket isn't really big in Canada. I was hoping to try it this summer because because they do have teams in Winnipeg but they don't have a women's league. Whereas Pakistan totally has women's cricket. So who's sexist now, Canada?
I guess "Imran Khan" is a cricket term LOL. And politics. Works for everything! Anyone asks me about the weather I'll just say "Imran Khan."
Asad: hhahaahaha yeah well lets just hope if he comes into power he doesn't become a dictator
Me: Or get assassinated. :(
Asad: yeah, that would suck.
Me: Maybe he'd be an enlightened despot.
Asad: I think that's what Pakistan needs, a philosopher tyrant kind of leader. Good guys can't do anything for the country because the system is rotten from the top to the bottom. A despot can change things for the better, make the system work properly, and if he has good intentions behind them all.. I'm for it. But that's really improbable imo.. like they say, power corrupts.
Me: I think that's what the whole world needs. But I think it's not power that corrupts, it's the things you have to do to thwart your enemies.
Asad: yeah.. you have to come down to their level to defeat them, and that changes you.
Me: :(
Asad: You're all set, a hello, goodbye and long live Pakistan is all you need
Me: Maybe I should learn "would you like fries with that" so I can get a job at McDonald's.
Deirdre: 'where is the bathroom?' is always a good one
Asad: LOL
Me: And a few cricket terms so I can make conversation.
Asad: yeah that'll help. Cricket is like the only thing anyone has in common. Cricket and politics and the failing economy and infrastructure, normal topics for conversations with almost anyone. And the weather too.
Me: Just like Canada! Except cricket. Cricket isn't really big in Canada. I was hoping to try it this summer because because they do have teams in Winnipeg but they don't have a women's league. Whereas Pakistan totally has women's cricket. So who's sexist now, Canada?
I guess "Imran Khan" is a cricket term LOL. And politics. Works for everything! Anyone asks me about the weather I'll just say "Imran Khan."
Asad: hhahaahaha yeah well lets just hope if he comes into power he doesn't become a dictator
Me: Or get assassinated. :(
Asad: yeah, that would suck.
Me: Maybe he'd be an enlightened despot.
Asad: I think that's what Pakistan needs, a philosopher tyrant kind of leader. Good guys can't do anything for the country because the system is rotten from the top to the bottom. A despot can change things for the better, make the system work properly, and if he has good intentions behind them all.. I'm for it. But that's really improbable imo.. like they say, power corrupts.
Me: I think that's what the whole world needs. But I think it's not power that corrupts, it's the things you have to do to thwart your enemies.
Asad: yeah.. you have to come down to their level to defeat them, and that changes you.
Me: :(
For greater clarity, if I decided to move to Pakistan on my own, I would not need to convert to Islam, because Pakistan has freedom of religion and there are Lutherans there. I could totally keep on being a Lutheran. In fact, I think Luther and the Prophet (PBUH) would have had much in common theologically, but that's a question for another venue. Back to my point, I'd only need to convert to Islam if I wanted to marry a muslim. And maybe not even then. But with that being said, I don't remember ever suggesting that I was moving to Pakistan, now or later, so whoever came up with that idea, you're having distorted cognitions of type "mind-reading". True story.
Donna: You know Elise you can't spew out things and not expect a reaction...or a suggestion....or a query. You assume that you can go on and on about Pakistan and not have someone question you. No one actually expects you to move there.......but a comment or query in good fun is all it is. Or are you asking everyone to ignore you? Most people enjoy your posts..... don't shoot people down for trying to engage you. Ed. WTF is wrong with you??????
Me: I'm neither "spewing things out" about Pakistan nor "going on and on" about Pakistan. I'm sharing photos of Pakistan. Because they're beautiful. I'm also taking an interest in Pakistani politics because I think Pakistan is very important to the world order and they have a super important election coming up. And because I have Facebook friends there. And because they were one of the first three civilisations and have an amazing history. And because Imran Khan is hot. If I had been yattering over the US "elections" like half of Canada, nobody would have to "question" me about it so why is Pakistan a problem? And obviously I can have a perfectly normal conversation with Asad about it so maybe the problem is how your comments come across to me and not why I'm talking about Pakistan. I frequently find your tone abrasive.
When I was working on leaving Hay River, at first I thought I'd delete everyone on Facebook who even has anything to do with Hay River. Then at the last minute I changed my mind and started adding everyone I know from Hay River so I could keep in touch. Now I remember... I'm a' purge the crap out of them.
Donna: You know Elise you can't spew out things and not expect a reaction...or a suggestion....or a query. You assume that you can go on and on about Pakistan and not have someone question you. No one actually expects you to move there.......but a comment or query in good fun is all it is. Or are you asking everyone to ignore you? Most people enjoy your posts..... don't shoot people down for trying to engage you. Ed. WTF is wrong with you??????
Me: I'm neither "spewing things out" about Pakistan nor "going on and on" about Pakistan. I'm sharing photos of Pakistan. Because they're beautiful. I'm also taking an interest in Pakistani politics because I think Pakistan is very important to the world order and they have a super important election coming up. And because I have Facebook friends there. And because they were one of the first three civilisations and have an amazing history. And because Imran Khan is hot. If I had been yattering over the US "elections" like half of Canada, nobody would have to "question" me about it so why is Pakistan a problem? And obviously I can have a perfectly normal conversation with Asad about it so maybe the problem is how your comments come across to me and not why I'm talking about Pakistan. I frequently find your tone abrasive.
When I was working on leaving Hay River, at first I thought I'd delete everyone on Facebook who even has anything to do with Hay River. Then at the last minute I changed my mind and started adding everyone I know from Hay River so I could keep in touch. Now I remember... I'm a' purge the crap out of them.
I think the better question is not why am I so into Pakistan but why aren't YOU? Not specifically Pakistan but why aren't YOU fascinated by something outside of your own dull little world? Why is your Facebook feed all about you? The world is so much more fascinating than that blank space between your couch and your TV. Look outward and feed your brain.
Asad likes this.
Donna: I think you would be surprised at how many people are actually into learning about other cultures beliefs etc. Ed.: as long as it's not Pakistan and Islam, I guess.
Me: I'm actually much more surprised by how many aren't.
Asad likes this.
Donna: I think you would be surprised at how many people are actually into learning about other cultures beliefs etc. Ed.: as long as it's not Pakistan and Islam, I guess.
Me: I'm actually much more surprised by how many aren't.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Reading coverage of the upcoming conclave on al-Jazeera. Cause it's better than Canadian coverage. True story.
Donna: So when are you converting and moving to Pakistan? Ed.: I'm talking about reading coverage of the Roman Catholic church on a Qatari network; she's talking about me converting to Islam and moving to Pakistan. WTF?????? <--------- exactly why I left Hay River. Fucksakes.
Me: Probably when Winnipeg becomes as unstimulating as Hay River. <-------- deliberate diss at Hay River just to learn her
Donna: Anytime now! <------- hahaha very funny cause yeah Winnipeg is ever gonna stoop to Hay River's level... did I mention that's exactly why I left Hay River?
Me: Or when Imran Khan asks me. Both are probably equally probable. <-------- another deliberate diss at Hay River which you totally brought on yourself. #yousuckHayRiver
Donna: So when are you converting and moving to Pakistan? Ed.: I'm talking about reading coverage of the Roman Catholic church on a Qatari network; she's talking about me converting to Islam and moving to Pakistan. WTF?????? <--------- exactly why I left Hay River. Fucksakes.
Me: Probably when Winnipeg becomes as unstimulating as Hay River. <-------- deliberate diss at Hay River just to learn her
Donna: Anytime now! <------- hahaha very funny cause yeah Winnipeg is ever gonna stoop to Hay River's level... did I mention that's exactly why I left Hay River?
Me: Or when Imran Khan asks me. Both are probably equally probable. <-------- another deliberate diss at Hay River which you totally brought on yourself. #yousuckHayRiver
I learn something new every day. Today I learned that stores in Manitoba are required by law to close by 18:00 on Sundays. Hmmmmm... Had I known that, I might have gone out and bought some groceries after church. I guess I'll have to eat either supper or breakfast at McDonald's then...
Or I could fix quinoa for supper and breakfast and not be such an entitled first-worldian.
Or I could fix quinoa for supper and breakfast and not be such an entitled first-worldian.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
You know what tastes good with quinoa? Everything.
Donna: I agree... now about that third job interview. ..did it happen yet?
Me: Yeah, that was on Wednesday. As I suspected, it was just a question of discussing the conditions.
Donna: So are you still waiting to hear... or are you not interested after the conditions spiel?
Me: I accepted their offer. I start March 26.
Donna: Congrats....how was your concert last night?
Me: Thank you. Sleeping Beauty was awesome. I had completely forgotten that I had bought a super expensive seat as a present to myself. I was in the third row. I have never seen ballet that close up before. Amazing. I'm going their next production in May and to the ballet school's production. I just have to find out my actual work schedule first and then I'll buy the tickets. And I think for next year not only I'm getting season's tickets but I'm gonna get an even more expensive seat. Like, right in the middle of the front row. But I have to see how the hours work out at Home Depot. My job is supposed to be pretty regular hours, unlike front-line guys, but still there is no guarantee, so no budget until I see how it plays out. I might end up getting a second part-time job. Allah knows best.
I can always eat more quinoa and put my grocery savings towards ballet tickets, right?
Donna: One very good reason to leave Hay River. You can actually be in a position to even consider season tickets. Stock up on quinoa.... worth it!
Me: When people were aggravating me in Hay River telling me Winnipeg sucks and I'd come back, I said at one point "I'll think about it if I get bored during ballet." So at one point during the ballet I remembered that and I was like so... where are you now...See More
I wonder if Imran Khan is into ballet. LOL
Donna: I agree... now about that third job interview. ..did it happen yet?
Me: Yeah, that was on Wednesday. As I suspected, it was just a question of discussing the conditions.
Donna: So are you still waiting to hear... or are you not interested after the conditions spiel?
Me: I accepted their offer. I start March 26.
Donna: Congrats....how was your concert last night?
Me: Thank you. Sleeping Beauty was awesome. I had completely forgotten that I had bought a super expensive seat as a present to myself. I was in the third row. I have never seen ballet that close up before. Amazing. I'm going their next production in May and to the ballet school's production. I just have to find out my actual work schedule first and then I'll buy the tickets. And I think for next year not only I'm getting season's tickets but I'm gonna get an even more expensive seat. Like, right in the middle of the front row. But I have to see how the hours work out at Home Depot. My job is supposed to be pretty regular hours, unlike front-line guys, but still there is no guarantee, so no budget until I see how it plays out. I might end up getting a second part-time job. Allah knows best.
I can always eat more quinoa and put my grocery savings towards ballet tickets, right?
Donna: One very good reason to leave Hay River. You can actually be in a position to even consider season tickets. Stock up on quinoa.... worth it!
Me: When people were aggravating me in Hay River telling me Winnipeg sucks and I'd come back, I said at one point "I'll think about it if I get bored during ballet." So at one point during the ballet I remembered that and I was like so... where are you now...See More
I wonder if Imran Khan is into ballet. LOL
Female Roommate's brother came and picked up Fluffy. And Downstairs Roommate is out with Spencer and Baby. Often she spends the weekends at her parents. Now Her Majesty and I have the house all to ourselves! PARTY DOWN!
(Later.) Little bastard hit my car on his way out and didn't even mention it. What a family.
(Later.) Little bastard hit my car on his way out and didn't even mention it. What a family.
Male Roommate comes into the living room and informs me that both of them are gonna be away for the weekend and the girl's family is supposed to come by and pick up Fluffy, but "if no one comes get him can you look after him for the weekend?" Er... On the one hand, yes, I can certainly take care of a little dog for the weekend. On the other hand, do you feel at all like a douche that you won't let me walk him out of pettiness, but if you're desperate you'll let me? Oh well. If it gets you out of the house for two days, I'm happy to do you an easy favour.
Yesterday I came home from being out and found Spencer (Downstairs Roommate's dog) wandering the house by himself. And as I followed him to see what he was up to, I hear a strange little voice talking to me. So I looked for the source, and there was the baby sitting in his... exersaucer? I think that's what it's called. Anyway, Downstairs Roommate had to move her car off the street for snow removal, so she had left Spencer and Baby in the living room to entertain themselves. So I played witht the baby until she came back, which wasn't very long. So then I told her, if she needs him watched for short periods, I'd be happy to. (I can't babysit tiny ones for long periods cause I don't know how to entertain them.) So today, when she was going to take Spencer out, she gave me the baby. She was gone just a few minutes but it was nice having a baby all to myself for a few minutes. Thank you, Downstairs Roommate. :)
Tatelena, Suvi-Maarit, Donna, Dana, Jaeda and Deirdre like this.
Tatelena, Suvi-Maarit, Donna, Dana, Jaeda and Deirdre like this.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Hmmmm... Two more ballet performances I need to buy tickets for, and I don't go on the schedule at my new job until March 26 (due to payroll timing considerations). So... buy ticket nows and risk a scheduling conflict, or wait till I have a schedule and a paycheque and risk not getting as good a seat? First world problems.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Dear roommates: I appreciate your enthusiasm for the toilet cleaner I bought (after you lived in this house without any cleaning products for three months). However, I should point out that it's not "scrub free". Don't just keep applying it and hoping stuff will disappear. You have to use THE BRUSH. True story.
I keep thinking I should take up a sport but they all look so tiring...
Deirdre: What happened to your skipping?
Me: I don't think it would go over in this house... and I have no idea where I packed my rope... and my room is too small anyway... I'm thinking more of a team sport with standards of performance and stuff.
Deirdre: Team sports are a great way of making sure you get out and active. I like running right now because it's more flexible time wise, location wise etc.
Me: I used to run a lot when I lived in Edmonton, but I'm much more drawn to things that have structure and cooperation these days. Probably a reaction against the excessive individualism up north.
Donna: Jazzercize Winnipeg.
Me: Meh. I'm thinking more like soccer. If only they had a walk-only soccer league so I wouldn't have to run.
Deirdre: Play goal.
Me: I doubt the team will let me... I have this thing about getting out of the way of fast-moving objects. Good for survival, not good for soccer.
Me: Rowing! There's no running involved in rowing.
Deirdre: Rowing works! Winnipeg has good sized rivers.
Me: I could be the coxswain. I like yelling at people.
Deirdre: What happened to your skipping?
Me: I don't think it would go over in this house... and I have no idea where I packed my rope... and my room is too small anyway... I'm thinking more of a team sport with standards of performance and stuff.
Deirdre: Team sports are a great way of making sure you get out and active. I like running right now because it's more flexible time wise, location wise etc.
Me: I used to run a lot when I lived in Edmonton, but I'm much more drawn to things that have structure and cooperation these days. Probably a reaction against the excessive individualism up north.
Donna: Jazzercize Winnipeg.
Me: Meh. I'm thinking more like soccer. If only they had a walk-only soccer league so I wouldn't have to run.
Deirdre: Play goal.
Me: I doubt the team will let me... I have this thing about getting out of the way of fast-moving objects. Good for survival, not good for soccer.
Me: Rowing! There's no running involved in rowing.
Deirdre: Rowing works! Winnipeg has good sized rivers.
Me: I could be the coxswain. I like yelling at people.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Tomorrow is the big day... my third interview with Home Depot. I'm hoping to drive over there, if the Fnord will get out of the giant snowbank that fell on it yesterday. Inshallah.
Donna: Good luck. Three interviews seems extreme. Are you applying for CEO or something?!
Me: You'd think so. Cause it's not JUST three interviews. There was first the resume and cover letter, then aptitude test, then phone interview, then two in-person interviews, then reference check and police record check, and now this. What I'm applying for is called "pack-out/pack-down" in their company culture and is their version of stocking and fronting. So... I don't get it. But if they hire me, I don't care how they go about it.
Donna: I would be stressed to the max going through all this. Making it this far must be a good sign. I would think many wouldn't get through all of this.
Me: Yeah, I'm thinking if they're still calling me after aptitude test, two interviews and reference check, this is probably more about discussing conditions than about still making up their mind about me. I hope so, at least. I'm not stressed, I just want the job so I can settle in a routine and get on with my fabulous life in the City of Dreams.
Mardrey: fingers X'd
Dana: a police record check to face circular saws??? wow - you all must have some crazy horror movies up there... LOL!
Me: Their excuse for wanting the PRC is that I'm applying for the night shift. I was not aware that criminals preferred night jobs... seems like they would want their nights free to get out there and do some crime.
Dana: LOL!!! crazy.
Donna: If you get that job you can sleep the day away with your female roomie! Not literally with!
Me: Yeah, I think it will be nice being out of the house during her most active times and going to bed when the house is quietest. And night shift doesn't interfere with any of my hobbies.
Donna: Good luck. Three interviews seems extreme. Are you applying for CEO or something?!
Me: You'd think so. Cause it's not JUST three interviews. There was first the resume and cover letter, then aptitude test, then phone interview, then two in-person interviews, then reference check and police record check, and now this. What I'm applying for is called "pack-out/pack-down" in their company culture and is their version of stocking and fronting. So... I don't get it. But if they hire me, I don't care how they go about it.
Donna: I would be stressed to the max going through all this. Making it this far must be a good sign. I would think many wouldn't get through all of this.
Me: Yeah, I'm thinking if they're still calling me after aptitude test, two interviews and reference check, this is probably more about discussing conditions than about still making up their mind about me. I hope so, at least. I'm not stressed, I just want the job so I can settle in a routine and get on with my fabulous life in the City of Dreams.
Mardrey: fingers X'd
Dana: a police record check to face circular saws??? wow - you all must have some crazy horror movies up there... LOL!
Me: Their excuse for wanting the PRC is that I'm applying for the night shift. I was not aware that criminals preferred night jobs... seems like they would want their nights free to get out there and do some crime.
Dana: LOL!!! crazy.
Donna: If you get that job you can sleep the day away with your female roomie! Not literally with!
Me: Yeah, I think it will be nice being out of the house during her most active times and going to bed when the house is quietest. And night shift doesn't interfere with any of my hobbies.
Something else that was inevitable: someone died in Hay River. Or more accurately, someone died and I know about it. Because worse than someone dying and you not being there, is when someone dies and you don't even find out about it because nobody thinks of telling you. I've always said Hay River should have some kind of bulletin board for births, deaths, and other such events. But mostly deaths. There's always time later to find out someone was born; not so much for paying your respects.
Selina: Totally agree ;)) it's hard to hear we lost one flock and hear it second hand , half the time your driving by and see a funeral with no word to attend ?;( I'm still bothered over hearing about bev a week after the fact;(
Édith: I really got along well with Bev and I didn't know she had passed away, a week before, when I called H&R Block for a mistake in my files. I felt terribly bad, a board would be kind of a necessity. My call would have waited, it is just a shame.
Me: Bev who? See, I didn't even hear about Bev. Even with my own HandiVan clients, I didn't always hear in time to go to the funeral. When people lose a loved one they don't go around informing everyone, it would be so much easier for someone to post it once and everyone knows.
Selina: Totally agree ;)) it's hard to hear we lost one flock and hear it second hand , half the time your driving by and see a funeral with no word to attend ?;( I'm still bothered over hearing about bev a week after the fact;(
Édith: I really got along well with Bev and I didn't know she had passed away, a week before, when I called H&R Block for a mistake in my files. I felt terribly bad, a board would be kind of a necessity. My call would have waited, it is just a shame.
Me: Bev who? See, I didn't even hear about Bev. Even with my own HandiVan clients, I didn't always hear in time to go to the funeral. When people lose a loved one they don't go around informing everyone, it would be so much easier for someone to post it once and everyone knows.
Monday, March 4, 2013
I had to take the bus halfway across town to the bookstore that sells the Bach and Monteverdi tickets, because I wasn't confident I'd get a ticket at the door. And in the bookstore, they also have fancy teas. One said "white ginger and pear." Oh? That sounds tasty. In theory I'm allergic to pears but I've eaten them lots of time, I don't think that's true. So I buy the tea. Come home, make a cup, and... now my throat is burning. Well imagine that... I really AM allergic to pears. (I really am! The doctor says so.)
Upcoming events:
March 6: yet another interview with Home Depot
March 7: Sleeping Beauty ballet
March 24: Bach's St. John Passion
March 30: Mozart's Requiem
March 31: Easter
April 6: Dancing with the Pastors
April 7: Monteverdi's Vespers of 1610 (or something - I'm not familiar with the work)
April 13, 16 or 19: Aida (reduced price thanks to my voice teacher who's in the chorus)
May 4: Church musical (not sure of the date but anyway I'm in the chorus)
If I'm this busy after a month, what is next year gonna look like when I'm working and in ballet and choir? I think I'll be living on Red Bull by then.
March 6: yet another interview with Home Depot
March 7: Sleeping Beauty ballet
March 24: Bach's St. John Passion
March 30: Mozart's Requiem
March 31: Easter
April 6: Dancing with the Pastors
April 7: Monteverdi's Vespers of 1610 (or something - I'm not familiar with the work)
April 13, 16 or 19: Aida (reduced price thanks to my voice teacher who's in the chorus)
May 4: Church musical (not sure of the date but anyway I'm in the chorus)
If I'm this busy after a month, what is next year gonna look like when I'm working and in ballet and choir? I think I'll be living on Red Bull by then.
Despite my bitchiness on Facebook, I've been trying to take a conciliatory, or at least a non-inflammatory, approach with the roommates. Even though I still want to put the little bitch's head through the drywall. Anyway. Every time she comes home from being out, her poor dog greets her with joy, and she yells at him. But he keeps doing it, because dogs are better people than people. Today she was in the kitchen when I came home from conservatory. The dog came up to me, and I greeted him happily while she bitched him out. Then I went and let MY dog out of our room, and she greeted me with delirious joy. Cause I was gone about 5 hours. So we're on the living room floor laughing and cuddling, and I'm calling her all kinds of ridiculous pet names, and so on. For quite a long time. And finally... the nasty little roommate picked up her dog and hugged him and called him something nice. Modelling positive behaviour for children... actually works sometimes. Thank you, Lord. That little dog so needed a hug.
A cement truck rolls past the house toward the construction site at the end of the street that started February 19, is fully fenced, and has not disturbed anyone in the neighbourhood through noise, swearing or other rudeness. They're already concreting?? Wow. This isn't your dinky Arcan project management, yo.
Our best friend in the house so far is Spencer, Downstairs' Roommate's two-year-old Jack Russel. He's cute but very hyper and has a tendency to piddle when excited. And he's always excited. So my approach with him is to be very mellow. More so than with the average dog. We don't see him much because downstairs is a self-contained suite, but every time he goes in and out with his person, he runs over to the living room door, looks at me, and then runs back to his person. I didn't think anything of it. Then yesterday, they came home from spending the weekend at her dad's when I was already upstairs reading in bed. So I heard Spencer galloping to the living room, and then a pause, and then he ran upstairs (he's not supposed to), came right to our door, sniffed at the door a little, and ran back down to his person. Aaaaawwwwwwwww... He likes us! Thank you, little dog. As long as dogs love me, people can say anything they want, I still know I'm a decent person.
I'm starting to feel bad-tempered. I'm sick and I know I have a huge bottle of ibuprofen in my room, but I can't find it cause the place is a mess. And it would be much easier to find things if I finished unpacking, but I rather don't want to do that until I decide whether I'm actually gonna stay in this house. And I don't want to walk to the corner store because there is white stuff on the ground that makes my feet cold. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! This is all your fault, Monday, you filthy bitch!
Another little step in getting settled here in Manitoba: find a pharmacy, have them call Hay River and transfer my prescriptions.
Pharmacy dude: So where are we transferring them from?
Me: Ring's Pharmacy, Hay River, Northwest Territories.
Pharmacy: North-west-ter-ri-to-ies? Well that's a first.
Me: Oh?
Pharmacy: It's like, in Yellowknife, right?
Me: No, Yellowknife is the capital, and Hay River is 480 km away on the other side of the big lake.
Pharmacy: (totally loses interest) So what's the phone number?
Pharmacy dude: So where are we transferring them from?
Me: Ring's Pharmacy, Hay River, Northwest Territories.
Pharmacy: North-west-ter-ri-to-ies? Well that's a first.
Me: Oh?
Pharmacy: It's like, in Yellowknife, right?
Me: No, Yellowknife is the capital, and Hay River is 480 km away on the other side of the big lake.
Pharmacy: (totally loses interest) So what's the phone number?
Sunday, March 3, 2013
As I was riding on the bus to church this morning, I noticed a sign that said "Mozart Requiem 30 March." Note to self: check that out. So I go online and there are... 32 tickets available. What? What's the seating capacity, 38? 2305? You're telling me this show is 98.6% sold out four weeks ahead of time? What's with all these classical concerts being sold out? Since when is classical music so popular?
Mardrey: Maybe it's because it's Good Friday the day before?
Me: I checked the orchestra's other concerts out of curiosity, they're all pretty much that bad. And Elijah was sold out. I was planning to see Bach's St. John Passion on the 24th but I'm starting to think I might not even get a ticket for that. There's no way to buy them online so I'll have to call tomorrow and find out.
Mardrey: Ah. Good luck
Me: Thanks.
Mardrey: Maybe it's because it's Good Friday the day before?
Me: I checked the orchestra's other concerts out of curiosity, they're all pretty much that bad. And Elijah was sold out. I was planning to see Bach's St. John Passion on the 24th but I'm starting to think I might not even get a ticket for that. There's no way to buy them online so I'll have to call tomorrow and find out.
Mardrey: Ah. Good luck
Me: Thanks.
Signs that my church is cool: 1) I can send my pastor an email with the title "Allah knows best". 2) As a fundraiser, the synod is putting on "Dancing with the Pastors". It's like "Dancing with the Stars" except local pastors will be dancing instead of celebrities. Baahaha! I can't wait to see that.
So here is what my handsome pastor had to say about the question of whether it's ok to ask a Muslim guy for coffee if he has fewer than four wives.
1) It's very unlikely that YOU would be asking him out for coffee. You have to get HIM to ask you.
2) A modern interpretation of the Quran holds that while it does allow a man to have four wives, it also says that he has to love them all equally, and since that's not actually possible, in reality the Quran DOESN'T allow a man to have four wives. But that's a modern interpretation.
3) That's an interesting question. You don't get asked that very often. Let me know what your friends have to say to that.
So there you go, Donna, now you have to respond to that. :)
I think he forgot to say "Allah knows best."
Donna: My question was really not based on a Muslim mans perspective ....but on whether you as a Christian female can date a married man who is not separated because HIS faith sanctions multiple marriages? I only challenge you because I thunk that the Christian faith....including those darn Lutherans would say no! Thanks for the post Elise. It was interesting to hear a modern interpretation on multiple marriages.
Me: I'm not aware that Christ forbade polygyny.
Donna: Maybe he didn't.......OK....next conversation with your pastor!
Me: I don't need to ask my pastor's opinion on this. As Lutherans we're all equal and I can read the Bible as well as he can. It makes sense to ask him about the Quran because he has studied it and I haven't.
Besides, in order to marry a Muslim man I'd have to become a Muslim myself so the opinion of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada would not be sought regarding our marriage.
Karen: Or the Muslim man would have to become a Lutheran. Interesting discussion
Me: But if he becomes a Lutheran he will no longer be allowed to have more than one wife, so that doesn't help me any. Unless the Lutheran church in Pakistan (if there is such a thing) consecrates plural marriages.
By the way it boggles MY mind that gay marriage is legal but polygamy isn't.
1) It's very unlikely that YOU would be asking him out for coffee. You have to get HIM to ask you.
2) A modern interpretation of the Quran holds that while it does allow a man to have four wives, it also says that he has to love them all equally, and since that's not actually possible, in reality the Quran DOESN'T allow a man to have four wives. But that's a modern interpretation.
3) That's an interesting question. You don't get asked that very often. Let me know what your friends have to say to that.
So there you go, Donna, now you have to respond to that. :)
I think he forgot to say "Allah knows best."
Donna: My question was really not based on a Muslim mans perspective ....but on whether you as a Christian female can date a married man who is not separated because HIS faith sanctions multiple marriages? I only challenge you because I thunk that the Christian faith....including those darn Lutherans would say no! Thanks for the post Elise. It was interesting to hear a modern interpretation on multiple marriages.
Me: I'm not aware that Christ forbade polygyny.
Donna: Maybe he didn't.......OK....next conversation with your pastor!
Me: I don't need to ask my pastor's opinion on this. As Lutherans we're all equal and I can read the Bible as well as he can. It makes sense to ask him about the Quran because he has studied it and I haven't.
Besides, in order to marry a Muslim man I'd have to become a Muslim myself so the opinion of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada would not be sought regarding our marriage.
Karen: Or the Muslim man would have to become a Lutheran. Interesting discussion
Me: But if he becomes a Lutheran he will no longer be allowed to have more than one wife, so that doesn't help me any. Unless the Lutheran church in Pakistan (if there is such a thing) consecrates plural marriages.
By the way it boggles MY mind that gay marriage is legal but polygamy isn't.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Science:1 - Winnipeg: 0
I may have mentioned that I don't live in the "good" areas of Winnipeg. Because I don't have that kind of money, and the run-down parts have way better bus service. Plus you can say what you will about Winnipeg being "rough", but so far the bad parts of Winnipeg are still more civilised than the Highrise.
Ok, so this afternoon, as I'm spending a quiet Saturday afternoon doing nothing, Downstairs Roommate's father comes to pick her up. Initially he didn't seem to like me very much because... something about my dog. But now that I don't like the Upstairs Roommates and I think the landlady is doing a lousy job, he likes me. Great minds, all that. Anyway so he says to me "is that your van out back?" and I says yes and he says "somebody egged it. It's all over your windshield."
What????? But why?? Oh, wait. We're not in Hay River anymore. In Hay River, people vandalise your car because it's your car and they hate you. In Winnipeg, people vandalise your car because it's there. It's not personal. Phew! I feel better. "Egg comes off", I said, and I went about my day.
Later that day, though, I started thinking that the responsible thing to do would be to wash off the egg promptly. And I haven't used the car since... I don't even remember, so who knows how long that egg might have been sitting there hardening?
So... What's the best way to get hardened egg off my car? He said it's on the windshield, so if all else fails, I can use a razor blade, but why do it the hard way if I can think my way out of it? Ok. So, Google, tell me how to get egg off?
Hmmmmmmm... Initially, Google was not encouraging. "Egg will never come off and it will eat all the paint on your car and then kill you in your sleep." Really? That sounds a bit harsh. So how do I get it off? A low concentration of... vinegar? What? No, that just doesn't sound right. Plus I don't have any vinegar, so no.
Here is the thing: I want to dissolve the egg. So I don't have to do any work. So I google "what dissolves egg?" Ah-HA! Much better. Now I get a guy telling me vinegar won't work because it's an acid (that's what I just said! except about the acid); what you need is a strong base. Such as his proprietary formula! Yay!
Ok, but here is the thing: I'm not gonna go out and buy stuff. Don't want to. I think I've made it very clear that I don't want to do any work about this. So you know what, I have TSP. That's pretty much the only cleaner I have, so I'm gonna be using TSP. End of story.
Google, Google on the wall, tell me if TSP is a strong base?
Google: HELLS' YEAH!
Ok, actually it was Wikipedia. According to Wikipedia, "the pH of a 1% solution is 12, and the solution is sufficiently alkaline to saponify grease and oils." Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! We're in business. So I read the back of the box and mix it according to the manufacturer's directions for what they call "ultra heavy duty". And then I had some soft rags, and naturally I own solvent-resistant gloves. Away I go, therefore, to de-egg my car.
Hmmmmm... Bad news: some of the egg is on the hood, and some on the roof. And you can't scratch the painted surfaces, obviously. Zut alors!
Oh well.
I dipped the soft rag into the TSP solution and dabbed at the rock-solid egg. And lo, immediately it began to dissolve! Well yeah, that was exactly the plan. Now some of the globs of egg were thicker than others, and the white is more resistant than the yoke, so a little elbow grease did get applied here and there, but to be honest the greatest challenge was simply reaching. The Fnord is not a small car and it's not that easy for me to reach the roof. Especially when I'm handling a caustic solution that I deliberately mixed strong enough to eat flesh. Plus it was very windy, and solvent-resistant gloves make your hands very, very cold, so I was getting in a hurry to get done. So I didn't entirely finish the windshield because it was too much trouble to reach and scrub. As long as I can see, I can drive, and I'll take the razor to it when it's nice out. I just poured the last of the solution on the windshield and use the wipers to spread it.
Now the one thing that was a little alarming was that it formed a foamy slime that coated everything and congealed as soon as I stopped wiping. Hmmmmmm... This does not bode well, I thought. But then I remembered, I mixed this solution "sufficiently alkaline to saponify grease." So you know what this foamy slime is? It's actually... soap suds. I kid you not! The TSP is saponising before my very eyes! My car is now covered no longer in egg, but in soap! That's insane.
So then I went to the carwash. The automatic wash, because I don't have any coins for the coin wash. Of course there's a line, and I'm sitting in the line looking at the stuff that I didn't get off the windshield thinking oh well, I'll get it later. But then when I got in the carwash and the water started, it... rinsed right off. Because of course all this time the TSP kept on eating at the egg, so by the time we got through the line, everything was dissolved. All the egg, and all the foamy slime, and everything simply washed away at the first application of water.
Hahaha that was AWESOME! Technically, getting your car egged is supposed to be terribly upsetting, cost you a fortune, and technically, it makes you a victim of a crime. No, really. Mischief against property. It's a summary, but still. And here I had a grand old time turning the egg into soap. Nice try, vandals. Next time, may I suggest egging Upstairs Roommates' car? Because they don't know how to get egg off and it will be a considerable nuisance to them, so it's much more worth your time. (That being said, I don't rule out the little bitch as perpetrator.)
So, the moral of all this is: SCIENCE WORKS, BITCHES!
Ok, so this afternoon, as I'm spending a quiet Saturday afternoon doing nothing, Downstairs Roommate's father comes to pick her up. Initially he didn't seem to like me very much because... something about my dog. But now that I don't like the Upstairs Roommates and I think the landlady is doing a lousy job, he likes me. Great minds, all that. Anyway so he says to me "is that your van out back?" and I says yes and he says "somebody egged it. It's all over your windshield."
What????? But why?? Oh, wait. We're not in Hay River anymore. In Hay River, people vandalise your car because it's your car and they hate you. In Winnipeg, people vandalise your car because it's there. It's not personal. Phew! I feel better. "Egg comes off", I said, and I went about my day.
Later that day, though, I started thinking that the responsible thing to do would be to wash off the egg promptly. And I haven't used the car since... I don't even remember, so who knows how long that egg might have been sitting there hardening?
So... What's the best way to get hardened egg off my car? He said it's on the windshield, so if all else fails, I can use a razor blade, but why do it the hard way if I can think my way out of it? Ok. So, Google, tell me how to get egg off?
Hmmmmmmm... Initially, Google was not encouraging. "Egg will never come off and it will eat all the paint on your car and then kill you in your sleep." Really? That sounds a bit harsh. So how do I get it off? A low concentration of... vinegar? What? No, that just doesn't sound right. Plus I don't have any vinegar, so no.
Here is the thing: I want to dissolve the egg. So I don't have to do any work. So I google "what dissolves egg?" Ah-HA! Much better. Now I get a guy telling me vinegar won't work because it's an acid (that's what I just said! except about the acid); what you need is a strong base. Such as his proprietary formula! Yay!
Ok, but here is the thing: I'm not gonna go out and buy stuff. Don't want to. I think I've made it very clear that I don't want to do any work about this. So you know what, I have TSP. That's pretty much the only cleaner I have, so I'm gonna be using TSP. End of story.
Google, Google on the wall, tell me if TSP is a strong base?
Google: HELLS' YEAH!
Ok, actually it was Wikipedia. According to Wikipedia, "the pH of a 1% solution is 12, and the solution is sufficiently alkaline to saponify grease and oils." Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! We're in business. So I read the back of the box and mix it according to the manufacturer's directions for what they call "ultra heavy duty". And then I had some soft rags, and naturally I own solvent-resistant gloves. Away I go, therefore, to de-egg my car.
Hmmmmm... Bad news: some of the egg is on the hood, and some on the roof. And you can't scratch the painted surfaces, obviously. Zut alors!
Oh well.
I dipped the soft rag into the TSP solution and dabbed at the rock-solid egg. And lo, immediately it began to dissolve! Well yeah, that was exactly the plan. Now some of the globs of egg were thicker than others, and the white is more resistant than the yoke, so a little elbow grease did get applied here and there, but to be honest the greatest challenge was simply reaching. The Fnord is not a small car and it's not that easy for me to reach the roof. Especially when I'm handling a caustic solution that I deliberately mixed strong enough to eat flesh. Plus it was very windy, and solvent-resistant gloves make your hands very, very cold, so I was getting in a hurry to get done. So I didn't entirely finish the windshield because it was too much trouble to reach and scrub. As long as I can see, I can drive, and I'll take the razor to it when it's nice out. I just poured the last of the solution on the windshield and use the wipers to spread it.
Now the one thing that was a little alarming was that it formed a foamy slime that coated everything and congealed as soon as I stopped wiping. Hmmmmmm... This does not bode well, I thought. But then I remembered, I mixed this solution "sufficiently alkaline to saponify grease." So you know what this foamy slime is? It's actually... soap suds. I kid you not! The TSP is saponising before my very eyes! My car is now covered no longer in egg, but in soap! That's insane.
So then I went to the carwash. The automatic wash, because I don't have any coins for the coin wash. Of course there's a line, and I'm sitting in the line looking at the stuff that I didn't get off the windshield thinking oh well, I'll get it later. But then when I got in the carwash and the water started, it... rinsed right off. Because of course all this time the TSP kept on eating at the egg, so by the time we got through the line, everything was dissolved. All the egg, and all the foamy slime, and everything simply washed away at the first application of water.
Hahaha that was AWESOME! Technically, getting your car egged is supposed to be terribly upsetting, cost you a fortune, and technically, it makes you a victim of a crime. No, really. Mischief against property. It's a summary, but still. And here I had a grand old time turning the egg into soap. Nice try, vandals. Next time, may I suggest egging Upstairs Roommates' car? Because they don't know how to get egg off and it will be a considerable nuisance to them, so it's much more worth your time. (That being said, I don't rule out the little bitch as perpetrator.)
So, the moral of all this is: SCIENCE WORKS, BITCHES!
Female Roommate, to her dog: "Move, shithead! Move before I kick you. I will SO kick you. Go to your kennel." Bitch, I know you're kicking that dog; but if I ever SEE you with my own eyes, you're gonna be real sorry. And by the way why did *I* walk your dog twice today while you're were out having a good time? Oh yeah, because *I* am responsible. I remember now.
Tatelena: She sure sounds like a real piece of shit of a person ....can we say LOOOOOOSER!!
Me: Yeah. I try not to be a judgmental old bitch but... she just makes it so easy for me. But then I'm like "if that's the kind of person that men are attracted to, then I'm damn glad they're not after me. I'm a' take it as a compliment."
Tatelena: She sure sounds like a real piece of shit of a person ....can we say LOOOOOOSER!!
Me: Yeah. I try not to be a judgmental old bitch but... she just makes it so easy for me. But then I'm like "if that's the kind of person that men are attracted to, then I'm damn glad they're not after me. I'm a' take it as a compliment."
Female Roommate comes downstairs with a friend who's visiting, sees a pile of dirty dishes, tells friend "go tell Male Roommate to come do the dishes." Friend actually does it. Male Roommate... actually complies. WTF is wrong with you, you dimwit? Tell her to wash the damn dishes herself. I thought you deserved better but if you're this much of a pushover, maybe not.
Friday, March 1, 2013
I hate to say this but it looks like I need to go for coffee detox again. And this is not exactly the best time for me to become extremely short-tempered... or is it?
Donna: What the heck are you talking about? Coffee detox...... the thought makes me hyperventilate!
Me: The real thing is even worse. I think last time I lasted six weeks. Worst six weeks of... everyone else's lives, I think.
Donna: What the heck are you talking about? Coffee detox...... the thought makes me hyperventilate!
Me: The real thing is even worse. I think last time I lasted six weeks. Worst six weeks of... everyone else's lives, I think.
Bad habits you pick up in a very small town: find out a dude is single, immediately think "hey, I'm a' phone him and ask him for coffee." Hmmmmmm... Phone book for Pakistan: check. Time difference between Winnipeg and Pakistan: check. Convenient place to meet for coffee: er... oops. And then I asked myself, if a guy is a Muslim, does he really have to be single? Or can you ask a guy for coffee as long as he has fewer than four wives?
Donna: Well what are your beliefs.....seems to me that you have to decide whether it is OK to date a married man. It is not based on his beliefs but on yours....just saying.
Angela: LOL!!!!!! OMG you crack me up!
Me: No, it's about him. A man who's required by law to have only one wife, and is cheating on her, is a douche. A man who is permitted to have four wives, and has fewer than four, is not doing anything morally reprehensible by meeting eligible women. And I'd much rather be one of four wives... that's one quarter of the work!
Donna: Hahaha. I like your rebuttal Elise.....and I knew that was going to be your response.... .what would your handsome Lutheran pastor say on this issue?
Me: Good question. My hot pastor has a Master's degree on Islam, so he'd be the perfect person to answer this question.
Donna: Well I will be waiting.
Me: Ok then, it's on! I'll ask him on Sunday.
Donna: This should be a good conversation! I would love to hear it first hand.. you better not put your spin on his answer! On second thoughts your spin would be more entertaining.
Me: Oh I don't know about that... My pastor has some pretty cool spins. Last week's sermon was about James Bond. (At least I think so. I didn't get much sleep the night before on account of the roommates.)
Donna: Well what are your beliefs.....seems to me that you have to decide whether it is OK to date a married man. It is not based on his beliefs but on yours....just saying.
Angela: LOL!!!!!! OMG you crack me up!
Me: No, it's about him. A man who's required by law to have only one wife, and is cheating on her, is a douche. A man who is permitted to have four wives, and has fewer than four, is not doing anything morally reprehensible by meeting eligible women. And I'd much rather be one of four wives... that's one quarter of the work!
Donna: Hahaha. I like your rebuttal Elise.....and I knew that was going to be your response.... .what would your handsome Lutheran pastor say on this issue?
Me: Good question. My hot pastor has a Master's degree on Islam, so he'd be the perfect person to answer this question.
Donna: Well I will be waiting.
Me: Ok then, it's on! I'll ask him on Sunday.
Donna: This should be a good conversation! I would love to hear it first hand.. you better not put your spin on his answer! On second thoughts your spin would be more entertaining.
Me: Oh I don't know about that... My pastor has some pretty cool spins. Last week's sermon was about James Bond. (At least I think so. I didn't get much sleep the night before on account of the roommates.)
Also, the roommates' dog crapped in the living room again last night after I had gone to bed. They cleaned it up, but I suspected it from a) the fact that they left the dog loose when they went out, which was inviting trouble, b) my dog sniffing at the floor when we went downstairs this morning, and c) the foul-smelling brown stain on the kitchen towel that they used to wipe the floor AND THEN HUNG BACK ON THE OVEN DOOR. Dafuq????????????? Anyway the boy confirmed my suspicions when he mentioned it to the girl's dad who was just here visiting. Sigh... Well, at least I didn't have to clean it up, for a change.
Barbara: Get a new roommate.
Me: We're aiming to have the girl's father take the dog back. Apparently the obstacle is that since he's not fixed, the dog humps anything that moves (except Her Majesty, who has made her position very clear on this issue), and the father's girlfriend has an elderly lab bitch and doesn't want her having to put up with this horny little bastard. But she, the father's girlfriend, is thinking of having him neutered in what sounds like a fairly near future. Why is the girlfriend of the father of the dog's owner having to take responsibility for this? Don't know. But then she also said if it was her daughter, the girl would be living at home and going to private school, and while I didn't want to say so in front of the male roommate, I couldn't agree with her more. So I think this woman and I are gonna get along.
Barbara: Get a new roommate.
Me: We're aiming to have the girl's father take the dog back. Apparently the obstacle is that since he's not fixed, the dog humps anything that moves (except Her Majesty, who has made her position very clear on this issue), and the father's girlfriend has an elderly lab bitch and doesn't want her having to put up with this horny little bastard. But she, the father's girlfriend, is thinking of having him neutered in what sounds like a fairly near future. Why is the girlfriend of the father of the dog's owner having to take responsibility for this? Don't know. But then she also said if it was her daughter, the girl would be living at home and going to private school, and while I didn't want to say so in front of the male roommate, I couldn't agree with her more. So I think this woman and I are gonna get along.
In other news, I'm all out of Toddlers and Tiaras, so I've been watching replays of the gymnastics rotations at the 2012 Olympics. Which drives me nuts because I think I can see how they're doing it, and then I'm like "hey, I should take gymnastics again, it looks fun". And then I remember that I could never even do a roll and any kind of rotation, inversion or spinning gives me a headache and also did I mention I could never even do a roll? Shut up, Scumbag Brain. Don't tell me we should do gymnastics and then refuse to perform any of the elements, m'kay? If you talk me into taking gymnastics I will damn well hold you upside down until you collapse under your own weight (or that of my arse, whichever is heavier). Try me and see if I don't. Bastard...
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