Me on the phone with the cable company: Can you downgrade our TV service to the cheapest possible package?

Cable guy: You already have the cheapest possible package. But I can remove Jets TV. (Ed: Jets are Winnipeg's crappy hockey team.)

Me: Oh yeah, remove that. Jets are useless.

Cable guy: No, I hear they're playing quite well this year.

Me: They play HOCKEY. They're useless. Get rid of them.

Cable guy: You don't follow hockey?

Me: I follow cricket.

Cable guy: OMG me too!!! What team?

Me: Pakistan. You?

Cable guy: England.

Me: How can you??? They're evil.

Cable guy: Well, I can't deny that. But I'm Irish.

Me: You're IRISH and you cheer for England? Traitor!

Cable guy: But I lived in England for a long time. They had food other than potatoes.

Me: Good day, sir.