Having discovered that I'll buy her cheesecake if she's sick enough, Her Majesty is now refusing to eat anything BUT cheesecake. You think you're clever, eh, you dog? Well it's a lot cheaper to have you put down than to keep you alive on a cheesecake diet, so eat your d-d dog food.

(True story: I named her "Sissi" because she's gorgeous, demanding, and she has a habit of not eating if she doesn't get her way.)