Things I like to do in my free time: singing; ballet; going to museums and concerts; photohunting; reading the Economist; learning the entire history of the world. Things "friends" text me to ask if I can do in my free time: babysit; run errands; drive them places; lend them my car (!!!!); lend them my bus pass; lend them money; maintain their yard; change lightbulbs; split firewood; clean their eavestroughs.

And this is why I write "friends" in scare quotes. (And also why I don't give out my phone number.)