And this is Rejoice Greatly but I think it's way too fast. At least it's way faster than the metronome marking on my score.

Starting at 6'17" of this video is the Alleluia that I'm working on. I can't get the longer melismata... yet. The high C I was talking about in the fall is at 8'43". Yes, I can sing that high. For now. Later I'll sing higher.

Perfectly by chance, I happened to see a photo of my dog lying in the garden in October when it was half taken apart and she had managed to save her little spot that she loved. I think I might cry. I'm sorry I gave up your garden, little mutt. And I'm sorry there isn't a garden here like I thought there would. I'll make you a garden again somehow.

Another thing that's a whole new experience in Winnipeg is that the local news providers talk about things OTHER THAN the local news. I see a headline from Winnipeg Free Press saying "magnitude 6.2 earthquake hits" and I'm like "WHAT? I never even felt it!" And then I read the rest of the line: "in Guatemala." Ooooooooooh... Well sorry if I never saw a non-local headline on a newspaper in the last nine years...

Winnipeg, day 55: finally got around to cutting open the giant box I can't get from the car into the house because I packed all my textbooks and sheet music in it and it weighs a ton. And hey, all my socks are in it! I'm so glad to see you, socks.

Also, I finally figured out how Portage, Main, Graham and Vaughan connect and which buses run on them. So far, Monday has been remarkably successful.

What I did on the weekend

I attended the Manitoba Orchid Society's annual show. Also St. John Passion performed by Canzona, but that wasn't as much of a photo thing.



This summer I'm gonna join the Manitoba Orchid Society and go on field trips with them to look at orchids. It's this thing people do in the south where they get together to enjoy a common interest, not just to talk about themselves. You jealous, Hay River?

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (also known as "when I lived in Hay River"), I was working on two repertoire pieces: Rejoice Greatly from Messiah and Alleluia from Exsultate Jubilate. But then I got too busy with packing, and then I started voice lessons and I only did what my teacher told me to do for the last six weeks. But I'm out of sorts and my voice is shot because of the thaw and it took forever to warm it up to singing shape at practice, and when I looked at this sappy, EASY stuff she makes me sing, I was like... sigh. Do not want. So then I decided to be a rebel and sing something awesome. Such as Rejoice Greatly, which I hadn't touched in at least three months. And... it was AWESOME! If I'd had a recording of this time and the last time I sang it, I don't think you'd have known it was the same singer. I can do it, and I can do it at speed, and I can do it awesome. And I've had five half-hour lessons. That's IT. I'm so underpaying my teacher, it's ridiculous.

Sheet Music Plus: That will be USD 19.99 plus USD 9.99 for shipping.

AbeBooks: That will be USD 27.37 and free shipping.

Amazon.ca: That will be CAD 14.59. Would you prefer CAD 3.98 for shipping or to buy another book for CAD 10.41 and get free shipping?

Hahaha! PWNAGE!

All right, today I'm gonna study. Pô l'temps d'niaiser.

I wish my dog could text so I could check up on her during concert intermissions and such.

If only I had a coffee so I could stay awake through the concert, too.

Direct bus from my house to front door of church; arrive way early; general seating. BOOYA. Bring it, Old Bach!

Speaking of crickets, by the way, Female Roommate is contemplating getting live crickets to feed her new gecko. And having had a previous roommate who tried it, I'm thinking that's not gonna be super popular with the landlady.

Reuters: "Merkel ally backs double-digit hike in top tax rate." Ummmmmmm... Seriously, what in the heck does this have to do with cricket????

Just wait, by tomorrow I'll have a dozen comments asking what's my obsession with cricket.

Even further down my Twitter feed, from Al-Jazeera: "Sport: don't count Spain out yet." WTF? Everybody's playing cricket but me!

Further down my Twitter feed: "Chypre: le sort du pays se joue à Bruxelles." Me: really? I didn't know Cyprus was into cricket too.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Now there is cricket in The Economist, too! They're everywhere!!!!!

When I see dire headlines on my Pakistan News feed on Twitter, sometimes it takes me a while to understand whether the problem is terrorism or a bad day at cricket.

Me, trying to remember my grocery list as I walk into Safeway after church: Milk, bread...

The Brain: Lemonade!

Me: Hush, Brain. I'm trying to think. Milk, bread...

The Brain: Lemonade!

Me: That's not even how it goes!!

The Brain: Oh. Right. :(


Me, arriving at the till with way more than I meant to buy because Safeway is full of delicious and affordable food, as usual: Hmmmm... Seriously, do I need to buy all this?

The Brain: Yes you do. Also, you forgot the lemonade.


Sigh... If I die of a brain aneurysm you'll know The Brain won.

Don't feel like getting dressed and taking the bus to church... I need to move into a convent so I can just throw a habit over my pjs in the morning and stagger down the hall to church.

(Later.) When you think about it though, I think when you live in a convent you're not allowed to badmouth your roommates on Facebook all day. You win some, you lose some.

Sometimes when it's 22:00 and my roommates are making noise and I'm not tired, I go to bed anyway just so I can complain about the noise.

Yes, yes. These are exactly what I need to take the Winnipeg dating scene by storm this spring.

Male Roommate goes upstairs in a huff. Female Roommate: "What did *I* do?"

Er... You want a list, or is it just a rhetorical question?

Barley + rice + quinoa + extra-lean ground turkey (left over from making dog food yesterday). Aaaaah, the perfect low-cholesterol lunch! + broth from boiling the turkey to kill the salmonella + grated cheese + mayo. Low cholesterol AND tasty! I rock.

There is a "new student registration" form for the Winnipeg School Division, signed by Female Roommate's father, on the kitchen table. Dated yesterday. Ok, I guess she wasn't in school because she wasn't signed up for school because she was previously living with her mother in Ontario... eight months ago. Maybe sometimes when I judge people's parenting by their children's behaviour, I'm not really that far off.

(Later.) Corollary: sounds like she's in a real pissy mood again. YES!!

Eating at a restaurant in Hay River: guy at the next table is my stalker. Eating at a restaurant in Winnipeg: guy at the next table is a total stranger who wants to know how I like my Canon PowerShot SX30 IS camera. Yay, Winnipeg!

Waitress: "you're done already? I just put it down!" Yeah, well, just take it as a compliment then.

Away to the Orchid Show I go. Eeeeeexcellent.

Me (to Male Roommate): something something Berlin Wall something.

Male Roommate: So, like, what WAS the Berlin Wall? Was it, like, a pretty big deal?

Me: (explain Berlin Wall)

Male Roommate: So it was like, the Nazis?

Me: (explain the NSDAP, World War II, and the Cold War)

Male Roommate: So the south side was Germany and the north side was the USSR?

Me: ... Well, you know, it's not like I know how a computer works. (Ed.: Male Roommate is working on a certificate in network something or other.)

Male Roommate: No one really knows. It's a lot of ones and zeros. And AND gates and OR gates.

Me: Really? I thought they used NAND gates and NOR gates.

Male Roommate: Really?

Google: NAND gates and NOR gates.


Me: remember several historical events PLUS a computer science course I failed spectacularly in 1994. Modern 19-yo: can't remember his own major. Now tell me again how modern methods are making teaching more effective?

Suddenly remembered I have four concerts to go to this weekend in addition to church and the orchid show. And two of the concerts are at the same time. Hmmmmmm...

Mean temperatures since I moved. Diana you want it for Squawk? LOL

I have an excellent fun plan for tomorrow! Any of my Winnipeg friends wanna come with?

Hahaha I crack me up. :)

You know what I miss most from Hay River right now? The Highrise elevator. Where you can meet all sorts of different people and have a quick conversation a few times a day and then go on with your business, and every three or four days the handsome Elevator Mechanic is there to fix it. (Haha, just kidding! The elevator mechanic isn't handsome. Just looks that way cause we're always so happy to see him!)

Can't find my watch all day: whatev' - can't have gone very far. Can't find watch when I need to boil eggs for the dog's dinner: MUST FIND WATCH IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!

As always, I have my priorities.

(Later.) As always, I succeed with my dad's old trick: "where did you put it?" Thanks, Dad.

I wonder if the dog would notice if I fixed her supper with quinoa instead of rice.

Landlady (via email): I'll take you for lunch.

Me (don't want to have lunch with her cause I don't like her): we should get Downstairs Roommate, too. She's cool.

Landlady: Ok, coordinate it with her.

Me (apart): Hehehehe... ain't never get 'er done. :)

Male Roommate: So when's your dad gonna pay the rent?

Female Roommate: How should I know? Ask him.

1) That explains how the rent gets paid and 2) fuck she's a bitch.

Remember how I've always said when my hair goes grey I'll shave it right off? You don't? Esti you never listen to me. Be that as it may, my hair is going grey and this is looking like a darn good idea.

When Female Roommate is in a good mood she acts like a toddler. When she's in a bad mood she acts like the vicious bitch that she is. I vastly prefer the latter, it's less disgusting and a lot quieter.

I knew there was no Badass Jack's in Winnipeg when I made my decision. I made my decision knowing there would be no Badass Jack's. It was a price I was willing to pay for the awesomeness of Winnipeg. Now I just need an excuse to go to Saskatoon and eat at Badass Jack's.

Home Depot finally realised that they put my start date ten days before my orientation date. So now they fixed it. I start AFTER my orientation, which is still April 6-7. Eleven more days off! Dafuq!

I discovered an easy way to save money. It started when I emailed myself money because it's the fastest way to move it between my bank accounts, and then I was too lazy to get out my bank card and accept my own email transfer. So now it's not in either of my accounts. They'll hold it for up to a month... and meanwhile there is no way for me to spend it. Sweet!

I wish there was an election coming up. I'm in a voting sort of mood.

The good news is, there is now a tiny bit of play in my window. I've been prying the sash away from the jamb to break the caulk. If I can get the corners to break, and if the guy didn't put anything sticky in the pocket, I should be able to get it. If not, there's still the bottlejack.

Ioana: You are persistent, I'll give you that :))

Me: Yes. Most people WILL give me that, I think. Or else I NAG THEM UNTIL THEY DO. LOL

I come home from walking the dog and see melting snow from the roof is dripping on the back stairs again, which will cause extremely unsafe conditions this evening when it freezes. So I look up to see where the water is dripping from, thinking I might put a bucket to catch the drip... and I discover there's no eavestrough. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

I keep turning on my computer to work on my project, then I check my social media, two hours later I turn off my computer without having worked on my project. Cause in reality I have three books to read on paper before I have anything further to write on my project. Calisse.

I was thinking, I haven't had a dream about Slimey in a long time. And I'm having a hard time visualising The Handsome One anymore. And then I was thinking, tabarnak, I hope THEY still dream about me every day. It's not nearly as fun getting rid of them if they don't regret it for the rest of their lives.

There's a creature in the bathroom and I don't think it's a spider. :(

Why the F is "Copenhagen Fertility Center - Denmark's largest fertility clinic" following me on Twitter?

My handsome pastor introduces me to everyone in the congregation as "this is Elise; she was confirmed at St. Peter's in Rome!" So today I was like: "yeah but you realise that means I was confirmed a Catholic, right? Cause they don't confirm Lutherans at St. Peter's." And everyone was like "hmmmmm... I see your point there..."

Twit from University of Manitoba: Winnipeg has 2% of Canada's population yet 12% of its musicians.

Well that would explain why I don't have time to get to all their concerts.

"Talk to Al Jazeera" sounds like a fun show, don't you think?

My voice teacher and I achieved a breakthrough, I think. See, singers, unlike epileptics, DO choke on their tongue. To avoid that, you have to bring your tongue forward but also down flat and relaxed. Which is hard to do. But now it seems I got it, and I can sing things that I was choking on two days ago. Downside: now I sing with a lisp from having my tongue between my teeth. But I'll fix that.

Then I came home and read some comments on my Facebook and I was reminded of the time when I was gonna dissolve some hardened egg off my car with an incredibly strong solution of TSP, and I forgot my solvent-resistant gloves in the house, and I was like "meh, I'll just do without." And then I went back and got my gloves, and used the TSP, and it turned the egg into soap... but not my fingers, a la Tyler Durden.

Doing what you're told: still the fastest way to learn shit and be successful.

Suddenly I realise... I CAN HEAR THE PILE DRIVER!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAGH! IT FOUND ME!

Exciting Winnipeg adventures: I hear the garbage truck coming! Quick! I'm finally gonna get to see it pick up the garbage carts with its robotic arm! Eeeeeeerrrr... WTF? It's just a dude walking behind the truck grabbing the garbage bags out of the cart with his hands. BOOHOOHOO I'M SO SAD! All the mystique of the Winnipeg robots is ruined! Maybe if I look behind the self-checkout computers at the library there's a little dude reading the bar codes through the scanner and writing things on a paper card with a quill. Sigh...

Deirdre: We actually have trucks that pick them up with robotic arms.

Me: Yeah, just rub it in...

When I'm sleeping peacefully: dog fusses all night. When I have major insomnia: dog hasn't even twitched in 4 hours. Sigh...

All day I waited for 22:00 so they'd make noise and I could put in a complaint... and it's 22:00... AND THEY'RE BEING QUIET! FUCKING TABARNAK!!!!

It's incredibly hot in my room and I still can't get the window open. I think I could drill two holes through the window frame, put rebar through them, run the other end of the rebar through a 4x4, and then rent a bottlejack and apply force to the bastard. Except that it doesn't sound like a very stable setup for the bottlejack.

When someone you were only friends with on Facebook because you didn't want to hurt their feelings removes and blocks you. BOOYA!

Look, Twitter. First of all, it's "whoM". Second, if the president of France jumped off a bridge I wouldn't do it either. And third, the only way I'm following Stephen Harper is late at night with a baseball bat in my hands. Calisse...

Hay River: lived there nine years, couldn't think of one person to call when I was upset. Winnipeg: lived here seven weeks and I know someone I can call anytime. Tell me again why you think I'm ever moving back?

Does everyone have friends that you like in real life but can't stand on Facebook because they post such lame, tedious, vapid stuff? Or is it just me?

Rob: Yeah, I just remove them from my news feed

Édith: Oh yeah. Je dois lui écrire une fois aux deux statuts de s'acheter un livre sur How to use Fb.

Me: Oh good. I thought I was just being a bitch.

There. According to Environment Canada's data for the last 10 years, this winter is 1.26 sigma colder than average, and 2.25 sigma more snow. 1.26 sigma is irrelevant; 2.25 sigma is somewhat relevant in that 95% of the time one would be 2 sigma and under. Which means an above-2-sigma outcome happens about once in 20 times. And half of those would be 2 sigma in the other direction. So a winter this cold or colder can be expected about once in ten years. Big Fucking Deal. Quit bitching and go take photos of your food.

(Later) I wrote the English explanation of the math too fast, clearly. It should say that a winter this cold or colder can be expected about once in five years (1.26 sigma), and a winter with two or more sigma of cold or snow, once in ten years. The actual probability for a winter with more snow based on the ten-year data is 2.4% or once in 41 years, which is slightly more interesting. However, as my previous study had shown, the distribution of snow is actually not Gaussian but one-tailed which means that any amount greater than (a number I haven't calculated yet) is about equally likely. I had only calculated the one-day figure which is 4", which is to say there is about a 1 in 90 chance to get more than 4" in one day (if memory serves), but the odds of getting one foot or two feet or three feet are all pretty much equal. And "1 in 90" is once every three months which would be twice per winter. Anyway I have been meaning to perform and write up a more detailed statistical analysis of snow and cold in Hay River, but I haven't got around to it. It will be on my political blog when/if I get her done.

Things I thought The Sprog might play with: My Little Ponies. Things his mother thought The Sprog might play with: some of his own toys. Things The Sprog actually played with: a piece of plastic wrap (yes I know plastic wrap kills babies but I was RIGHT THERE the whole time watching him) and a magical musical instrument that makes different sounds depending how you bang on it... also known as an empty cardboard box.

Deirdre: Try tupperware, spoons, pots... they all make great toys. Water in a bowl, bubbles in a sink...

Me: I think he's looking for things that he can investigate. For example: I grabbed the box of Kleenex to wipe his face; he then crawled after the box of Kleenex, grabbed it, pulled out dozens of Kleenex and tore them to shreds. Then he found paper and tried to tear it, but found it doesn't tear as easily as Kleenex. Then he found the plastic wrap and found that it doesn't tear either but it shines in the sun, it crinkles, you can put it in your mouth, and then when you shake it it makes a pretty shower of drool drops. Whereas My Little Pony is just a lame chunk of pink plastic.

Every time someone in Hay River mentions the weather I remember that I was trying to prove that this winter has not been unusual using actual data and math. As if that would ever work.

I was woken up at 23:17 by a loud noise the roommates made; but because I came out of a deep sleep, I don't know what the noise was. Then, I was woken up again at 23:54 by the male roommate wailing like Rachel for her children as he ran to the bathroom. I contemplated whether I should a) freak out and tell him to shut up, b) offer assistance, or c) ignore it. By the intensity of the wailing I hypothesised that either there was a death in his family, or the little bitch cut off his penis. Speaking of which, while her mate was crying his heart out in the bathroom, the worthless creature was talking unkindly to her poor dog in a nasty snake-like ice cold voice. Man, she's disgusting.

Strangely, however, the wailing stopped almost as abruptly as it started after only a few minutes. WTF??? You're crying to wake the dead in the middle of the night... and after four minutes you feel better? Shut up, you douche. I'm sorry I even considered offering assistance. You ugly slime.

Then he sniffled away, I think to sleep in his own bed (he's been increasingly not sleeping with the bitch), and I... spent the rest of the night trying to ignore my dog fussing. Because contrary to some dogs who know exactly what time it is, Her Majesty figures that once she wakes up, it's waking up time. So what if it's midnight? Time to get up and relocate to the living room... where she will sleep the rest of the day.

Sigh.

In order to sing like a BOSS, you have to raise the top half of your face, which requires tension, and drop the bottom half, which requires relaxation. This is hard to do and makes you look like an idiot, but it does make you sing like a BOSS. So that's what I'm working on in voice lessons. Today my voice teacher was telling me to visualize having a basketball in the back of my throat. WTF???? I'm pretty sure if I had a basketball in my throat I'd be heimliching myself, not trying to sing bel canto. So I told her what *I* visualize: that moment in The Grudge when a minor character has had her lower jaw ripped off and is walking around with a rather tense expression in the top half of her face and her tongue hanging down to her collarbones, for lack of a jaw to hold it up.

Brilliant, right?

Ha. Apparently, my voice teacher does not believe in visualizing horror movies while singing romantic arie. Oh yeah???? Well let me tell you something, missy. The ONLY WAY I'm ever gonna sing this maudlin Italian love song crap "with feeling" is by visualizing horror movies.

Seriously, I've actually had to decline one of her picks because it was just too horrible, even for a love song. Once she understands that I only do a) sacred and b) cynical, we'll get on just fine.

Dana: Your poor voice teacher.

Me: It's ok. I'm pretty sure she's too young to have seen The Grudge.

Dana: I'm pretty sure that I'm too 'something(?)' to have seen The Grudge so she and I are good without that visualization, thankyouverymuch. She so didn't know what she was getting into when she agreed to take you on, did she?

Me: No. No, she did not.

Wow, somebody retweeted me! How... not exciting. Twitter is lame.

What Handel wrote: "I know that my Redeemer liveth and He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth." How it sounds at practice: "I know that my Redee, mer. Crap. I know that my Redee, mer. Crap. I know that my Redee, mer DAMNIT I know that my Redeemer liveth and he shall stan- fuck. I know that my Redeemer liveth, and he shall stan- FUCK. I know that my Redee, mer GODDAMNIT!"

I gave the dog a dose of the painkiller that I extorted from the V-E-T in December when she was injured. And of which I saved some exactly so I could give her something whenever she's in pain. Hopefully that will help her fight off what's ailing her.

0800: alarm goes off. Snooze it. 0804: phone rings. WTF? Who phones me? At 0804? Ignore it. 0805: alarm goes off. Snooze it. 0807: dog is fussing. Please shut up, dog. Dog shuts up. 0810: alarm goes off. Snooze it. 0812: strange noise in my ear. Open my eyes: dog is standing there NOT fussing or making noise... but with her nose so close to me it sounds like a tornado in my ear. 0815: alarm goes off. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH! Just for that I'm not getting up! Screw you all! 0943: wake up, look at the time. Damn, I have so much stuff to do today...

When the dog wakes up at five in the morning and you get up and take her out in four inches of wet snow so she can pee and then you try to go back to bed and she looks at you like "WTF are you doing going back to bed????" Scumbag Dog.

You have a cold or ache? Poor you. When is your surgery? Oh you're not having any? Well then does the medication cause hair loss, vomiting, mouth sores, hearing loss, anemia or kidney damage? No? But you're gonna be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, right? No??? Is there at least SOME chance that you might actually die from this? Not even? Wow. Then if you're looking for sympathy, I believe it's somewhere between "shit" and "syphilis." While you got the dictionary out just look up "grow up", too.

My upcoming concert schedule:

March 24 - St John Passion
March 30 - Requiem
April 6 - Monteverdi (+ church dance?)
April 13 - Aida
May 2 - Moulin Rouge (ballet)
May 5 - church musical
May 18 - RWB pro school concert
May 24 - another Camerata Nova concert

Hmmmmm.... WHY is there a 19-day gap in my entertainment? I don't find that acceptable.

So I didn't get around to mentioning that my new job scheduled me for training on... Saturday 6 & Sunday 7 of April. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! You ugly bastards, WHY? Why do you think I applied to the NIGHT shift and not the weekend day shifts? Now I have to miss the following: 1) musical costumes and rehearsal, 2) church, 3) baby shower for couple at church (that I don't know from a hole in the ground but we're family now since we go to the same church), and 4) Vespers of 1610 by Monteverdi. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I hate you! I had bought the Sunday afternoon concert ticket because the Saturday evening conflicts with the Dancing with the Pastors fundraiser for which I also have a ticket. Boohoohoo I'm so sad! So, I just exchanged my Sunday concert ticket for a Saturday one. I'll have to miss the pastors dancing, I guess, but I can still go to the dance afterwards. I bet Lutheran dances are way more fun than regular.

Guy at church: My wife is a massage therapist.

Me: Does she massage dogs?

Guy: ???

Downside of leaving Hay River: now I have to teach a whole new bunch of people that the world DOES revolve around my dog. (And Hay River, I still hate you for stealing my bumper sticker that stated the same.)

There are two kinds of people who have lived up north: those who wax lyrical about indigenous people, and those who got nothing to say about the whole thing.

Me, to guest speaker at church: So how did you get to go to Cameroon?

Guest speaker: I was on the synod committee... and then I was going to Cameroon.

Regular people: go out drinking, wake up in someone's bed and don't remember how you got there. Lutherans: join a church committee, turn up in Cameroon for four months and don't remember how you got there. Did I not tell you we know how to have fun?

First thing in the morning: put coffee cup in microwave for 1'40", take cup out, realise I microwaved an empty cup. It's gonna be a long day.

"Swarms of non-contraceived offspring." I didn't even make it up myself.

There ya go. The incubation time for canine distemper is 14 to 18 days. Her vaccines were 16 days ago and it's the only thing she received that is consistent with the symptoms. But I thought vaccines were inactivated viruses and couldn't make you sick? Nope. The canine distemper vaccine has a live virus. The symptoms from the time she was in the hospital for a week are also consistent with distemper. And all the neurological symptoms she's been having since last summer would also be consistent with distemper. So, I'm gonna propose a hypothesis that she has a persistent canine distemper infection affecting the nervous system (a known condition documented in the Merck manual) and that it can be aggravated by exposure to more of the live virus. At least that's what I think.

Mardrey: That's rotten. Sorry to hear that. Does she have a Vet yet in Winnipeg?

Me: Yes she does, but the even worse news is, there is no treatment for canine distemper. You just manage the symptoms and hope they survive. Which is exactly what happened the last two times, it cost a fortune and I thought I was gonna lose her. So far her eye is actually looking better, just watery but no coloured discharge, and she doesn't feel like being held anymore. She only lets me hold her when she's feeling really rotten. As long as she's in good health she doesn't know me.

I was typing in Google "dog gets sick two weeks after v" and Google completed "vasectomy." WTF?? Who gives a dog a vasectomy?

Listening to my roommates having sex makes me glad I'm celibate. I can think of so many better ways to waste four minutes...

At first when my dog got up in the middle of the night, jumped off the bed cleanly onto the landing mat, went to get herself a drink of water, jumped back on the bed from the mat, lay down beside me and went back to sleep without fussing, I thought she was finally starting to accept how things are in the new house. But now she has a whitish discharge from her right eye suggesting she's actually sick... and last time she had a discharge from her eye it cost over $400 in vet bills... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Seriously dog, I can't pay a vet bill right now. For the love of God please don't get sick until April 2... then you can run up all the vet bills you want.

The V-E-T sends me a reminder to spay my pet. Dafuq? Unless those things grow back I don't see how that's gonna be possible. And WHY is there "wheat" listed in the ingredients of that green tea I just bought? As a flavouring of all things??

Ok, friends with serious child-rearing chops: I bought some My Little Ponies for The Sprog to suck on. Should I cut off the hair? It seems pretty securely attached.

Shannon: I wouldn't worry if it were for my kids.

Theresa: The hair should be fine - we haven't had any problems

Dana: I wouldn't worry either - course, Molly tried to drown twice at the pool this afternoon (and I'm all wet to prove it), so that may diminish the worth my child-rearing advice...

Me: Key word: "tried." Thanks ladies. I knew you'd have answers. :)

Toys R Us is the best birth control ever. Millions of dollars in toys, dozens of kids freaking out because their parents aren't spending enough, and not one damn thing worth spending your hard-earned money. All I wanted was a solid bloc of plastic that the sprog can't choke on and I can wipe with Lysol when he's done... maybe I should just go to PetSmart and buy him a kong.

Theresa: Pet smart is actually a pretty good source for toddler chewable toys! I agree with you about toys r us - ugh.

It's finally late enough to eat supper, walk dog and go to bed! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy! I thought this day would never end.

I was gonna go to the opera tomorrow but... one hour bus ride, four hour opera, one hour bus ride back? I don't think I'm THAT into opera.

You know, I liked it better when the roommates were doing shit that might get them evicted on a regular basis. Now they're just as annoying but there's nothing I can do about it. :(

Things I thought might entertain a nine-month-old: watching smurfs on YouTube. Things that actually entertain a nine-month-old: eating dog hair; eating dog food; eating my wallet; eating my cellphone; eating the blinds' draw cord; eating the Kleenex when I wipe the drool off his face. Hmmmm... I need to get some physical smurfs for him to eat, I guess.

Vicki: Everything in the mouth

Me: I managed to keep the coffee out of his mouth. He even crawled across the room after it and stood up against the coffee table.

Vicki: I think 9 mons. is when I started sippy cups because they were interested in drinking from cups. He's putting everything in his mouth because he's cutting teeth. Atleast he's not crying

Me: Yeah I figured he was teething because I do hear him crying quite a bit. You can just see his first four teeth. But his mom only gives him to me when he's not crying. She's nice like that.

Woke up walked dog did dishes ate breakfast took bus sang for two hours took bus back ate lunch walked dog. Is it bedtime yet? I'm tired.

Pakistan is having a Day of Tolerance today. (Bearing in mind that it's 11 hours ahead of me so by "today" they mean tomorrow, March 15.) Man, I can think of a bunch of Canadians who could use a Day of Tolerance.

Twitter me propose de suivre Valérie Trierweiler. Euh... ben non j'pense po là.

Now that drugs and coffee (so like, drugs and more drugs) have rebooted my brain, I've had a fiendishly good idea. My voice teacher is never happy with my pronunciation in English or Italian... but if I buy a book of Finnish art song she'll never know if I'm doing it right! Baaaahaha!

Went upstairs to my room for two things: 1) put my hair in a pony tail, b) ... can't remember... f'king headache I can't keep two things straight at the same time. Go back downstairs... F'king headache, man, I should take a pill or something. WOW NOW I REMEMBER WHAT I WENT UPSTAIRS FOR! Scumbag Brain.

How long a box of 100 poop bags lasts: Hay River -> forever; Winnipeg -> a month.

Roommates: Thank you for cleaning the bathroom that we hadn't done in months. We greatly appreciate all this cleaning you've been doing.

Me: My pleasure.

Roommates: Naturally we will do the bathroom next time. Not more than a month from now.

Me: Of course! It doesn't need mentioning.

"Conversations that never happen in this house."

It's time for bed. My dog says so.