Opera director: Your dog is still in the burning house!

Me: Yes!! I've been waiting six months for her to die.

=== Later. ===

Opera director: The president has died!

Me: Harper died? YES!!

=== Later. ===

Opera director: You enter house left.

Me: Ok.

Opera director: Places! (I go house left.) What are you doing here?

Me: You said house left.

Opera director: Oh, sorry, I lied.

Me: So... house right?

Opera director: No no, house left.

Me: So you lied the second time, not the first?

Opera director: Yeah.

All laugh.

Opera director: Do as I say, not as I say.

Me: O... k...

=== Later. ===

Me: What's my mood?

Opera director: You're really, really tired. And sad.


Wow, finally a direction I can relate to! But then I forgot to ask whether it's a cross or a banana.