Ah crap. I missed a month again. Time just goes by way too fast.

Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
His name was Robert Paulson.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.
Che gli dei chi lor somiglia.

Imran Khan announces new theme song for his pep rally: "Send in the Clowns."

You may be spending too much time in opera rehearsals when your new favourite swear is "deh conservate oh dei."

K. If I'm not mistaken, it's now my day off, I'm awake, I don't have to go anywhere... and there is NO cricket on TV. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH why me, Lord?

Quite fun to watch the tide turn against Imran on his own Facebook page. You overplayed your hand, old man.

After today's outdoor rehearsal in the sun, everyone is sunburned except me. Because I was wearing long sleeves, long pants, and a hat. And I was thinking to myself "you know, if y'all had worn hijab or thobe, you wouldn't have this problem."

At every rehearsal, my voice teacher (who plays Servilia) comes to me with a look of concern and asks me how I'm feeling and if I have everything and know what I have to do blah blah etc whatever. But when I told her some of the problems I was having with the music... she just brushed it off. WTF????? Look here, little girl. I have no feelings. I'm not nervous. I don't get stage fright. And I'm more organized than all you artists put together. But I do have trouble with the music because YOU made me sing alto. You put me in this position and you're not even gonna help me, so never mind. I'll do it myself. I've been carrying the alto section from day one and I'll be just fine. Go patronize you OTHER student, the one you put in the sopranos who hasn't sung a note yet

In case anyone else is looking for non-Zionist toilet paper, the only brand at Safeway is Royale. It's Canadian-owned. (I considered buying the Zionist kind for the metaphor, but they wouldn't care.)

Yo Imran, I have a message for you too. I'm a citizen of TWO stable democracies and I want to tell you that YOU are the problem. Democracy depends on one thing: the loser's willingness to admit defeat and be a good opposition until the next election. You've marched a bunch of disgruntled rowdies into the capital with the intention of overthrowing an elected government and having yourself installed instead. Best case scenario, they disperse peacefully and you've only cost the country a fortune in security at a time when they really needed to focus on the pre-existing security problems. If this turns nasty I hope you face criminal charges for inciting. You crazy egomaniac.

The good news is, opera rehearsal let out early again. The bad news is, the acoustics in the performance space are confusing my ear. Sigh.

Screw it, I'm drinking coffee at opera rehearsal.

Checking cricket scores at work earlier this week.

Me, to Sikh coworker: Sri Lanka 281 for 8.

Sikh coworker: What?

Me: Sri Lanka 281 for 8.

Sikh coworker: Who are they playing?

Me: Pakistan.

Sikh coworker: Ah.

Me: You don't follow cricket?

Sikh coworker: I followed cricket but only until Sachin retired.

Me: Sachin who?

=====
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

And now the dog has diarrhea. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

Well the dog woke me four times in nine hours. I suppose that's as close to "uninterrupted" as I get. Then I snoozed all five alarms on my phone for 45 minutes. Also I'm out of toilet paper and I have a headache. Fak u, life.

Ah... Home sweet home. I got home from rehearsal and considered skipping work because I was so tired, but that's just not what I do. So I hie me to the bus. I fell asleep on the first bus but woke up in time for my stop. I fell asleep at the bus stop but the sound of the approaching bus woke me up. I fell asleep on the second bus... and rode all the way around and back to where I started. Then there were no more buses toward work so I got on a downtown bus and came home. After falling asleep on the bus, of course. Well, fuck. I'll try to go in to work tomorrow instead. For now, I get nine hours of sleep. And it better be UNINTERRUPTED sleep. Dog, I'm looking at you. Do whatever you want tonight but do NOT wake me up. Kthxbai.

Opera rehearsals, day 12 of 19. Tried to make toast, forgot to put bread in toaster. Help me, Lord.

A lot of people become despots when given power. Only Imran becomes a despot without even getting into power first.

The only thing better than 4.5 hours of sleep is 4.5 hours lying in bed of which 2 with insomnia. FML.

So I check my email before going to have a shower and off to bed... and there is an email from the conductor saying "be off book by Saturday". AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!! You ugly mofo, I only have five hours of sleep between now and Saturday rehearsal as it is, why couldn't you tell us this on Tuesday? Oh yeah, cause you're an artiste and you don't plan ahead. I crie

I'm awake. AGAIN. This would be a good day for people to stay the fuck out of my way.

I'm such a good cook, I just screwed up making a cup of microwave mac and cheese. Ouch... my ego. And I just realized, too, it's a Zionist microwave mac and cheese cup. Some days you just can't win.

Me: Google.

Google: Yes, Dave.

Me: When did hominins speciate from apes?

Google: Where does pubic lice come from?


Hmmmmmmmm... Listen, Google. Around here *I* ask the questions.

“Failing organizations are usually over-managed and under-led.” - Warren Bennis (who clearly must have worked at Home Depot before)

I set five alarms on my phone and slept ten hours. And still slept in. I'm tired.

That smug feeling when the bus drives past a gas station and gas is up 8 cents from yesterday.

Home Depot turns out to be a surprisingly good place to practice your opera part. It's noisy, you're running around in all directions, you don't have time to focus on the music, and orders change with alarming frequency. The only downside is having to sing sotto voce.

I need a nap. It's still called a nap if it's over 16 hours, right?

Well, I hope the extra hour and a half practice makes up for the hour and a half of sleep I didn't get... I now have less than four hours to sleep, then four-hour rehearsal, then work. It was time, I felt, for an agonizing reappraisal of the whole scene.

The one thing that still always reminds me of Hay River is...

...

...

...

the sound of a pile driver. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!

I just want you to know that Gaza is more important than some one-note actor who didn't think having everything was good enough.

Exhausted but never defeated... She is now 85 days past the 90-day average survival time, and just 13 days away from turning 15. Today she wanted to sleep in my bed with me so I never got out of bed all day. Who cares? I can be productive when she's gone. She doesn't seem to suffer at all. It's unbelievable how much indomitable strength there is in this tiny emaciated body.

You know what's more annoying than constant software updates? Software updates that ask to install themselves and then don't. Thank you, Firefox.

Good thing I slept 18 hours when I could, because after that the dog woke me every 45 minutes on average until I tied her to the piano.

Opera director: Your dog is still in the burning house!

Me: Yes!! I've been waiting six months for her to die.

=== Later. ===

Opera director: The president has died!

Me: Harper died? YES!!

=== Later. ===

Opera director: You enter house left.

Me: Ok.

Opera director: Places! (I go house left.) What are you doing here?

Me: You said house left.

Opera director: Oh, sorry, I lied.

Me: So... house right?

Opera director: No no, house left.

Me: So you lied the second time, not the first?

Opera director: Yeah.

All laugh.

Opera director: Do as I say, not as I say.

Me: O... k...

=== Later. ===

Me: What's my mood?

Opera director: You're really, really tired. And sad.


Wow, finally a direction I can relate to! But then I forgot to ask whether it's a cross or a banana.

K. I just spent two hours on 80 seconds of music of which I sing exactly ten (10) notes. Opera's hella hard, yo.

Things you didn't know about opera: the most commonly asked question in an opera rehearsal is "is this a cross or a banana?"

This is the hardest part of the whole opera. If you can't hear my line it's ok, neither can I.

Eight hours work. Two hours off. Five hours opera rehearsal. Three hours off. 18 hours sleep. Two hours opera practice.

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