Too tired to do anything. Too bored of resting to go back to sleep. Sigh.

I'm so tired I don't even care what's on the Internet.

Not sure if all people are rude... or I happen to hate normal social behaviour.

Me at work, putting away overstocks. I need to write the quantity on them. Hmmmm... 3 boxes deep x 6 boxes wide x 12 per box = 18 x 12 = I don't feel like calculating that. Think think think...

3 x 6 x 12
= 3 x 3 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 3
= 2³ x 3³
= 8 x 27
= 216

Seriously, if you don't use math at work, I don't think you're actually doing any work.

(And yes, I could have done 3 x 72 instead which would have been simpler, but the prime factorization was so obvious it distracted me.)

Me, approaching the door on my way in to work.

Coworker: Hi Elise, Corrie quit.

Me inside the store.

Supervisor of another department: Hi Elise, Corrie quit.

Me after team meeting.

My supervisor: So Elise, Corrie quit.

Me tidying up at 6:00 AM as the opening crew comes in.

Supervisor of the opposite end of the store: I'm sure you'll hear soon enough but - Corrie quit.

Me almost ready to leave the floor as the sales staff turn up.

Supervisor of Corrie's department: Hey Elise, Corrie quit, I have an opening in my department.

======

Either I complained about Corrie a lot more than I thought, or Corrie complained about me a lot more than I thought.

Spinach. What an ignorant food. You have to plant 10 sq.ft. to produce one cup which contains 20 calories. Such a waste.

When you're wide awake for work but so paralysed by demotivation that you can't even blink. Sigh...

You know what else is weird? People who have known you for seven minutes before they start telling you who you are. And, inevitably, how you need to change to please them.

There's something weird about people who tell me I should get married and have kids (let alone have kids without getting married). They obviously don't know why my life is at it is, but they figure they can tell me to change everything about it. Without being asked, at that.

It's Monday. I still can't adjust my elbow brace. There is a podcast about boredom on my phone. Kill me now.

It was a beautiful spring day when suddenly, they most gigantic snow flakes I've ever seen started crashing to the ground. Hmmmm... Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

K. The dog is asleep and breathing, everyone in Pakistan found something to occupy their time, and I'm tired. I'm pretty sure I've been up for hours. Good night, Facebook. Fiamani Allah.

The worst part of treating for respiratory distress is that the victim is always trying to walk away.

Every time I look at the dog I'm shocked by how small she is. She used to be such a strong little wolverine mofo of a dog and now she's just bones.

Well, studying went really well for a while... until everyone in Pakistan and India got on Facebook again. LOL

The only thing uglier than my handwriting in Urdu is my handwriting in English.

Hey check this out, I read this almost entirely by myself!
ڈھاکہ: سری لنکا نے ٹی ٹوئنٹی ورلڈ کپ میں ہندوستان کو ہرا کر ٹرافی اپنے نام کرلی۔

So many birds out there... this time next year I can go on long excursions to photograph them. All by myself.

One of the things I love most about my Muslim friends is having polite and enlightening discussions about the Lord. Not too many of my non-Muslim friends do that.

Waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiit a minute... Did I just hear a SEAGULL???

Friend: How are you?

Me: I have a headache.

Friend: Did you take something for it?

Me: No. I'm in a bad mood anyway, I might as well have a headache too.

Friend: Why are you in a bad mood?

Me: Don't know. Probably because I have a headache.

=====
Perks of being single.

Her Majesty's health bulletin: no new developments this week. No nosebleeds, no faking-one's-own-death since Monday, no dying and coming back evil... just a lot of sleeping, moderate amount of eating, and today we walked almost a block and a half, haltingly, before she decided to turn back. She's very thin but not shaking, not incontinent, not in any evidence of pain. If she just slowly fades away like this, that's fine by me.

It's +5 and i'm wearing a sweater. What was I thinking????

I keep thinking I'm gonna get up and study. Then I go back to bed to think about it. Good night, Facebook. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

I shall now attempt to sleep 48 hours straight. Good night, Facebook.

When your knee hurts, you put a knee brace on, your knee feels better. When your elbow hurts, you put an elbow brace on, your elbow feels... worse. Fak u, life.

The good news is, we're now on 7-day freight schedule, so our boss works Sunday to Thursday. Yay, Friday!

I was dreaming about doing freight. No wonder I wake up tired.

Muslim friend looking at my old photos: You don't look fat or old.

And here you guys thought Muslim men are assholes... LOL

I spoke sharply to my Indian coworker for doing the stupid things our English boss tells us to do. Now I just need an Australian coworker to hate on.

(Only my cricket friends will understand this joke.)

The nastiest thing about getting up for work is that you can't just get it done and forget about it. No matter how decisively you do it the first time, you keep having to do it again every d**** day.

It's rent day and the evil roommate is slinking around the house being as quiet as she can. That's a sure sign she screwed up something. Hmmmm... How much do I want to bet that the rent isn't getting paid again?

I go out to pay the rent, leaving the dog asleep on the bed. I come back an hour later, she's in an unnaturally extended position, eyes wide open and fixed, no sign or sound of breathing. So I was like "how can you have died in the hour I was gone?" Then I poked her... and she's perfectly fine. You damn dog!!!!!!!! You're doing this on purpose. I know it. And if anyone thinks my dog isn't capable of faking her own death every fews days to fuck with my head, you just don't know Her Majesty. She always was the most manipulative little thing.

Et le coup de Manuel Valls, c'est un vrai ou un poisson d'avril?